Dear Editor,
A critical look back at 2013 would reveal that even while there may have been physical progress (building of schools, hospitals, roads), as a nation, we have not managed to move forward with issues. Our lawmakers have once again failed Guyana. They have not managed to discuss issues like poverty, crime, discrimination, women’s rights, and ethical issues; but they have managed to quarrel among themselves, even late at night.
Luckily, each Guyanese should have had the opportunity to accomplish things in their lives during the past year. Once again, 2013 was a year of mixed fortunes for myself. Perhaps the highlight of my year was the revelation of my sexuality, something which shocked many persons and equally disappointed others. I really wished it had had much more impact, but I still would like to thank Stabroek News for promptly and eagerly responding to my request to come out as gay to the world through the print media. My life since then has been the same. I did not face any kind of discrimination whether at home, or at community, work or spiritual levels. However, I have experienced discrimination at the health sector level where I was told that I could no longer donate blood. How sad. This was the same health sector which awarded me for being an outstanding voluntary blood donor in February this year.
I know I was heavily criticized behind my back about my decision to express my sexuality, but I do not really care. I am who I am and I am very proud of it. I believe the time has come for people to stand up for what their ideals in life are and stand by those principles. Since then, I have not been able to start my advocacy for gays and lesbians in Guyana. That, by itself, I believe, is a project that would take some careful planning.
My reportage continued during the year but hit a snag when my work was discredited. The main aim was to embarrass me and the newspaper, which, by the way did not stand by its reporter. How sad. Also, it should be noted that even though I issued a full apology, it was never published in the paper. Reporting is in my life-blood. I take what I do very seriously. The incident discouraged me a lot. Thoughts of finding another part-time job with another company entered my mind. I still don’t know what I will do. I know I am very qualified though.
But 2013 has been a year where I was stifled. It is said that the worst way of punishing intelligent people ‒ and yes I do consider myself intelligent ‒ is to muzzle them; push them on the sidelines; make them watch others in the centre-streams; cut off their voice and expression of opinions. I was pushed on the sidelines in 2013 by many persons and organizations. My expressions had to be in these columns and only Stabroek News and the Guyana Chronicle would publish my letters most of the time.
I submitted dozens of articles to the Catholic Standard as I continued my volunteerism with that entity. I have continued, too, to manage (through pictures and information) my church’s Facebook Page, one of the most (if not the most) active social media page for any organization or group in Guyana.
On the personal side, I ended what was one of the most painful relationships I ever had. Had it continued, I would have been emotionally and mentally devoured. I told myself that I deserved better. Great things are happening though. Every person, whether, lesbian, gay, straight, black, white, ugly or nice deserves to be happy with the person they are happy with. How better the world would be if we all could confess that statement.
I continued to maintain my weight-loss and healthy eating habits. While no one or even the media was interested in hearing about my weight-loss story, I shared my experiences in an opinion column earlier this year in the Kaieteur News. It’s sad how we miss these opportunities to enlighten and inspire others, simply because we believe we would be pushing others in the spotlight. I didn’t want spotlight and fame; all I wanted was to share how I lost the weight and dispel health rumours that I was sick, etc. Again, I was snubbed, ignored.
After completing my Master’s Degree, I am contemplating whether to continue living in Guyana or take up my impending residency in the United States. Guyana is not an encouraging place to live. Guyana has not been welcoming to me, my ideals and values. I would not be able to marry the man of my dreams in Guyana any century soon. I would not be around the important people in my life ‒ my family and friends, especially my mom. America is moving ahead for people like me. Several states have legalized gay marriage this year. While I was brave to have come out gay, many, many boys are living in Guyana under denial of their sexuality. This is purely because of the pressures and expectations of religion and family. I have seen it, big time! How sad. How much sadder that mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers would rather see their boys living lives covered under sheets instead of embracing who they really are.
Guyana will always be about the macho male figure. A change, of course, could begin with me, but I would not even try.
Many people do not accept what I have to say and how I say it. My words are too dynamic, pointed and radical. But would I rather say what is on my mind than stifle my conscience. I would rather be bold and upfront and true to myself than come under a guise. Our world would be a better place.
The teaching system is getting more frustrating every day. Teaching has become a burden for me and many others out there, where the focus is on keeping records, and not on classroom teaching itself; where education officers feel they can barge into your school and do and say as they please. This never could have happened in the older days, I was told. Teachers, like many other categories of workers, are under severe pressure in this country, being paid next-to-nothing for record-keeping and playing mommy, daddy, police, judge, counsellor, social worker, priest, moulvi, pandit, and brother and sister to the children, who are becoming more indisciplined.
It certainly felt good to have been recognized this year, firstly for being a regular blood donor; for coverage of news from the Lion’s Club in New Amsterdam; and for helping out my good friends at DTV over the years.
I have covered umpteen events at UGBC over the past years and received no recognition. This would not have happened under the watchful eyes of Daizal Samad, but he is another story, one of disappointment.
Sadly, I was snubbed by the University of Guyana Berbice Campus. You can do the world for some people and still receive no thanks. Of course, I don’t do things to receive thanks. However, I would not forget being physically removed by a staff member of UGBC for taking photographs of my own graduation in November, as if I was some unknown threat! I was graduating and enjoyed covering my own graduation for the news. Reporters in this country have no thanks to get. The office employees of that institution need some professional training in dealing with the public.
Well, thankfully I can put all of this behind me and start afresh tomorrow.
Yours faithfully,
Leon Suseran
