Dear Editor,
In an effort to create a horrific awareness of Road Safety, a philanthropist is about to launch competitions designed specifically for drivers of mini buses and motor cycle/scooters who constantly breach Chapter 51:02 of the Motor Vehicles and Road Traffic Act.
On the category for mini buses, any driver whose vehicle exceeds the stated speed limit along any street road or highway with passengers therein, resulting in an accident causing loss of limb, maiming, claustrophobia and death is eligible to participate.
The prize for that artistic catastrophe will be awarded posthumously.
The award will be a custom made casket – designed to represent his or her mangled minibus, with synthetic blood and body parts attached for realism.
The second category is specifically for drivers of motor cycles, scooters and their pillion riders, with one or more children thereon with a baby held precariously in the arm. Helmets are not required.
The driver must be completely oblivious to his surroundings, displaying a total disregard for life and limb.
In the ensuing accident caused by him/her the pillion rider and baby must die immediately, the child or children be hospitalized, with the possibility of amputation or one or more limbs.
The driver must survive, unscathed, in order to receive the prize, which is yet to be determined.
Drive safely, conditions apply, check press for horrific details.
Yours faithfully,
C.S. Vaughn MSM
Major (retired)
