First it was Michael Correia at GuyExpo 2006, then it was “silly” Gerry daring to question the helicopter deal, and now Yesu….Is no-one immune to a good public ‘buse out from El Presidente?
Actually, no. Anyone who dares to show the slightest independence – this newspaper, the bar association, is grist for the Jagdeo mill.
And what a way to treat your friends in public. Ride them hard, mock their business failures, leave them utterly embarrassed. But what the heck; at this stage in his life Jagdeo has become the Rhett Butler of Guyanese politics: “Frankly, my dear Yesu I don’t give a damn.”
Comrades, this last chapter of the Jagdeo presidency will not be a lame duck two years, more like a sharp sting in the tail. Everyone stand in line and get your dose.
We knew it was coming last Thursday. Once he got up to speak and we heard that low robotic monotone…for Dr Who fans it’s the voice of the Dalek….one could sense he was supremely pissed about something. Our science department, on analysing the videotape has issued a report concluding that the Jagdeo Clone no 3 (launchings and conferences) may have malfunctioned. We’re looking into it.
However we’re not sure it was Yesu who set him off – we were too busy at the bar to listen to him anyway.
He was simply doing what all businessmen in this country have to do, beg for a little concession while worrying someone else is getting a leg up. After all it was never fully explained that the printing press was not duty free… This deal was hatched in the thoroughly opaque Go Invest (Remember the secret deal for Buddy…. The still secret hotel on the seawall deal) That meant Yesu could not know for sure what concessions had been given for what, and despite questions in the press, da Silva (apologise to award winning journalist Judy Fitzpatrick, now) had chosen not to give the whole story. So Yesu had a right to gently raise the issue in the absence of information.
Actually we have a more intriguing spin on the incident…If there’s one thing that gets El Jefe most pissed off, it’s when the United States issues some report on Guyana. He just can’t stand getting low grades from Uncle Sam. Be it the annual drug scorecard, their prognosis of the investment climate and last week the report on Trafficking in Persons, an issue that the US likes to use to beat small countries over the head, while its own citizens do a great job within the country. Take this report on tomato plantations in Florida.
(http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2003/04/21/030421fa_fact_bowe)
And let’s not get started on drugs.
Now, we have a feeling that Thursday night while Carvil Duncan was systematically kissing the Ramroop family’s feet, did he mention their dog? – …El Presidente was getting bored. So he snuck a peak at the new paper and saw the page three story, “Amerindian girls being exploited –US TIP report” and had a conniption, a fit… a total freak out. Next thing we saw him jump up from the head table and storm out of the Savannah Suite…body chucking invitees out of the way as if he was blocking for the Green Bay Packers.
According to eyewitnesses in the lobby, who cowered under the table covered in Ferrol liquid, he was screaming for several minutes at his bodyguards to “get her” on the phone, and as they fumbled to call “her”… he fumed, a whiff of smoke visible above his pate…A phone call later he looked no better and returned to his seat. Who was this mystery woman?
How ironic that a story in this newspaper, which he claims will not wallow in sensationalism or inaccurate reports, might have got him so riled up.
So what did Jagdeo do? He tore Yesu a new one. He picked on the biggest guy in the room, whose rum many guests were enjoying, and who had just happened to stand up for the rights of the private sector. It’s a crime these days. (We honestly don’t know what has happened to the PSC of late but this government has it so beaten down they resemble roadkill)
Jagdeo went off… practically calling Yesu ignorant…and mocking him for two ventures that went bust…
And when he sensed the crowd was slightly offended he just blurted out: “I don’t care, you know me I’m controversial…” as if it was a badge of honour.
Well maybe it was all a grand plan to give them a juicy story for the front page ‘cos sure enough… Guyana Times had “Jagdeo slams Persaud…” (The word slam is really getting worn out…like lambaste)
And better yet the irony of all this it that the so called “beacon of truth” newspaper has yet to fact check what Jagdeo said: that the concessions for the textile and antibiotic units were granted under the tax act. It took the reviled “biased”, “sloppy” Stabroek News and Chris Ram to point out the relevant Act on Sunday.
But what the heck. Who goes to a launch to listen to the speakers? It’s to drink, eat and meet ministers past, present and future. There was the svelte High Commissioner Bhattathiri Kurrukal Guhathakurta Ronald Gajraj who reportedly arrived on an elephant. However he wore a suit, and not his customary dhoti. What a sellout! As our friend observed it was very dotish.
Finance Minister Ashni Guptar Chakladar Singh claimed to have no control over the release of the inflation figures, even while President Paschimakabata Kogilagaddi Jagdeo said we should, “Ask Ashni…see they accuse me of micromanaging…” Well the CPI figures remain hidden even as they play a childish tag team.
So after all the rum was done, all the fancy prawns gobbled what does this newspaper, This Beaker of Truth, represent?
We’re not sure but overnight the other papers felt slightly diminished: The Unmentionable, no longer the self proclaimed people’s rag, instead descending with its dead bodies into the gnashing ghetto; the Stabroek somehow for the diehard news junkies, the gloom and doomers, a refuge for those with a conscience (what the hell is that?); and finally with its phony letters and sycophant headlines, the Chronic looks utterly terminal. Pull the plug. Let The Misirable Impremsonator write its obituary.
Certainly the Guyana Times represents the culmination of sixteen years of PPP rule, the breathtaking rise and wealth of a new business class, the domination of the political and social space. And yes it will succeed because as its name suggests, it truly is a paper reflective of the times.
