Pet peeves

We all have pet peeves; the things that dog us and make us gnash our teeth, or grind them; bite our lips or count to ten, lest we commit ourselves.

Nearly everyone’s peeve is a different breed of pet. For some of us, the cellular phone message tone, “excuse me boss…you have a message,” makes us want to grab the phone and smash it preferably on the owner. But we walk away.

For others it’s when someone rudely sticks their fork into our plates, making us see red and that does not refer to the pepper or tomato ketchup on our food. Ahem… don’t you have your own food?

Hate it when someone ‘squeaks’ their rubberized shoe sole across the floor? Can’t stand people, who chew too loudly?

Here’s one that not everyone agrees with: the intense loathing of Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable”, which one of us placed, “almost at the top of my top ten most disliked songs. Actually, I hate most of her songs”. Almost on par, the same peevish writer says is Timeka Marshall’s “We Should Separate” and “Ice-cream Boy”. The writer asks: “Didn’t she know that the gingerbread boy was a fairy tale? And no one sang a song about him!” Well not everyone agrees, but that’s why they are called ‘pet’ peeves.

Now who doesn’t dislike overly-pushy public relations officers, who send the same email several times as if they don’t know they are clogging our mailboxes? We can understand (we think) if it was a genuine mistake but to send the message four times just to correct an error is pushing the limit. Sometimes we want to hit the reply button and type in, “are you incompetent? Or just plain stupid?” There is a particular PRO who often does it, but we will not name and shame her here.

Then there are the minibus conductors who feel that humans are sardines and pack them accordingly.

Although, we do believe that sardines have it a little better (at least they don’t have to be crammed next to the person, who thinks that it is okay not to have a bath for a week).

And what about the Home Alone movies? (Cringe)

Creeping up on the list is the Caaareeeee… Caareeee… Carifesta advertisement, not the song itself. “The Caribbean is coming; the world is watching…” enough already! And speaking of ads…aren’t they supposed to appeal to you, to make you want to buy? Most local television ads are not appealing!
Death announcements, anyone?

And what about those ‘customer service representatives’ in the stores, restaurants, and other businesses with their “I-couldn’t-care-less-what-you-want-as-long-as-you-get-out-out-of-here-quickly”, attitude? Could you at least act a little civilized since it’s our money that’s paying your salary? Rather than raise your eyebrows in that “Hell-no-you-can-take-your-cash-and-go-somewhere-else-we-don’t-need-you,” supercilious fashion? What about those cashiers who give you all your change in coins, but place them on the counter instead of in your hand? Right, where’s the terminator when you need one?

We are horrified at those people who should in no way be associated with television programmes but go on air and act as if it was it was their God-given right to be there. And to crown it off, they don’t have a single redeeming feature. They look bad and sound terrible; just plain awful. For heaven’s sake, if we wanted to see a horror movie, we could rent one; although we hate horror movies.

You know those people who spoil a good song by attempting to sing it? Disgusting. Here’s a hint, if you were any good, you wouldn’t be here.

Then there are those who, when you have the most irate frown on your face, ask if “you arite?” Yeah, we’re good man. Don’t mind us. This is our normal everyday, composed, happy face. We’re fine! Do you need glasses?

We abhor self-righteous hypocrites and long-winded, boring people.

Smokers? They should be exiled. Blown (pun intended) out of this world.

We do not like spoiled children and people like spoiled children who think that they are entitled to everything that this world has to offer.

Hey, since you’re reading, we dislike people leaning over our shoulders while we’re typing and reading our brilliant writing. Go write your own, you know who you are.

We have more, but space is limited.

And for those who read this and think we just like to complain, let us enlighten you: We’re basically a nice bunch. We just need to exhale every now and then in order to stay sane. Peace.

(thescene@stabroeknews.com)