What happens in Orinduik stays in Orinduik
We have always had some affection for The PM. He’s slow to anger and shows none of the malice some of his Cabinet colleagues display. When the bad boy is out of the country you know the hand on the ship of state will be ever so polite even in the foulest of weather.
And if he does appear incompetent at times it’s only in a well meaning, old fashioned way. Like a bumbling general manager of some ailing widget factory in northern Pennsylvania. He’s also kinda cuddly like a mascot for the PPP, which he is. The day he goes will be a dark day for civility and decency.
His speeches are famously long and unfocused so much so that we understand CDs of them are eagerly traded by insomniacs. “Do you have the one from the opening of the alternative energy seminar …that’s supposed to knock you out in a minute.”
But occasionally he has moments of inspiration and when we heard last week that at some meeting he had floated the idea that a casino/hotel be built at Orinduik Falls we knew he had hit on something huge, something very, very original …eco-gambling. Casinos and Conservation. You have to love him for inventing a whole new industry, which will soon be eligible for tax concessions.
We’re not sure exactly what he has in mind for Orinduik but we could come up with some pretty good ideas. The poker chips could be made out of balata, the craps table made out of real cow crap; and the indigenous waitresses would wear grass skirts.
High rollers would sleep in hammocks and eat complimentary cassava bread. Transportation to and from the airport would be via ox and air conditioned cart. Yep these gamblers are going to see the beauty of Guyana whether they like it or not.
This government is doing such a fantastic job at gambling away its reputation, that such a proposal no longer seems that far fetched even if the economics of the gambling industry remains murky. The Turk is investing US$25M in the Princess Buddy (opening for suckers October 1). With a 20% annual rate of return he would have to clear US$416,660 a month…tax free…oh sorry is there a tax holiday on gambling? According to the Tax Amendment Act…hold on…let’s go check that…ummm…hmmm…we’re stumped…Ashni? Winston?
Does that come under tourist hotel even though… Whatever, let’s just wait a few days and it will all be made legal. Don’t you just love this retroactive law making? Now this is the ultimate power trip: whenever you break the law you just go back and change it. Coming soon the Spy Equipment Authorization Act 2008.
The obvious irony is that Jagdeo’s outburst at the newspaper launch suddenly brought the tax concessions under scrutiny and instead of Yesu having to attend the tax seminar wearing a dunce’s hat, El Presidente will be the one in the front row taking notes.
It took a four-page press release for them to admit as much or as they described it “the 2003 Amendment to Section 2 of the Income Tax (In Aid of Industry) Act contains a number of obvious deficiencies….” Oh let’s blame the legislation, shall we? And let’s just call the following legislation Egg on El Presidente’s Face Amendment 2008.
Ashni can call Stabroek all the names he wants and use the Beaker of Truth, aka the Ministers’ Mouthpiece to do it, but when you’re wrong you’re wrong.
Inflation
Finally the inflation figures have been released Yipah dee freaking doo dah! (When Sam Hinds says Guyana’s not ready for Freedom of Information legislation, he ain’t kidding)
But really, folks, was that so hard to do? We kind of figured that you were hoping prices might fall a little in the second quarter but when gasoline hit $1000 you realised it was only going to get worse. Now don’t be such chicken %^&!s come mid-July.
We want dead bodies
We were so disappointed in the Unmentionable Rag for not putting the body of the 15 year old girl on their front page this Monday. After all they have had the Lusignan child with his guts hanging out, a couple of headless bodies and countless dead bandits. We just love a little nausea with our breakfast, and for years we could rely on you to bring a little sick to our throats every morning. And now you’ve stopped! Don’t tell us you’re getting soft.
Army bulletin
After two weeks hiding in the bush, Fineman Rondell Rawlins is now to be called Really Fineman Rawlins.