(wife holds the key)
Sorry we just liked that SN headline…And it’s true; the Chinese coach did get his balls locked up in a Cliff Anderson Sports hall locker. (the brackets are our addition).
Isn’t that a better a headline than yet another about Roger Khan? Just one more about him and we will personally call the white car to come round and “cap our ass”…
Hold on…excuse us we have just received a text message from the Unmentionable Rag…oh it’s from Osama bin Laden… he’s coming for tea at 3 pm Thursday. Sure.
Hmmm, now we have to wonder if all those phone calls after Lusignan were from Rondell Fineman Rawlins or Rondell “Some man” Rawlins. Sure did sell a lot of newspapers.
For the record we’re gravely disappointed that the police did not immediately lay siege to the Unmentionable Rag’s building and call on Rawlins to, “Come out with your hands up! Keep that cell phone visible!”
And spare a thought for Poor Robert getting such nasty text messages. But hold on he made the front page in all the newspapers! And that’s all that freakin’ matters…right? Text him now! “Rbrt 4 Prez”.
While we are worried about the credibility gap of a newspaper whose employees apparently make the news instead of reporting on it, the government is doing an even better job of laying on the crap with a really huge trowel. By the way did you know Janet Jagan has a new children’s book out? It’s called ‘Roger and the Magic Laptop”. We have a sneak peek: “Once upon a time there was a man who had a magic laptop that could locate bad people. These people ended up on some deserted road in the Land of Turkeyen feeling very ill…actually they were dead as a dodo. He was a good man….for a while…lots of people privately called him a saviour …and then things got out of hand and the people said they had never liked him…and then he made some naughty tapes of the police commissioner referring to “coolies”….and then one day he went away…The End…Oh No, it’s not the end, just the embarrassing beginning.”
Meanwhile does anyone know exactly where El Presidente is this week? Is he going to spend anymore days in the country he rules over for the rest of this year? For God sakes how many times does this guy have to fly in one month? He is personally bankrupting Caribbean Airlines with his Way Too Frequent Flyer Miles. The cabin crew must be like, “Oh no, not him again” as he chews them out for not having more peanuts.
“You are descending into ignorance, for not having my favourite snack…it says it right here, in the regulations…”
It’s like he comes home for a few days, holds a press conference, gives someone important a good reaming, does a quick cuss of the PNC, the GHRA, the GBA, and before he can read the headlines he’s back at the airport. He might as well move the OP to Timehri. You never know where the hell he is.
He’s the Ninja President. And the waste, the waste of tax payers’ money for all these visits to bull crap conferences that achieve zero. It’s truly galling.
And those are the ones that might be justified. Not Jennifer Westford flying first class to Italy to watch a freakin’ boxing match! Gail Teixeira flying to Las Vegas for the same thing. Actually we don’t mind ministers flying first class. It’s worth the extra taxes. They need to be segregated. Out of sight out of mind. Sitting next to them one might be tempted to pull the lever on the emergency exit to put you out of misery.
Perhaps they should put a cage between the ministers and coach to stop them wandering among their people.
Anyway back to Ninja Jagdeo. Next thing you know he’s up in New York for the Hot Air Conference on Caribbean Investment. Obviously bored and wanting to be the man with the biggest cojones in the Big Apple, he chooses to meet with the seriously deluded Rickford Burke who thinks his homeland is worse than Zimbabwe. Surprise Surprise….Don’t you love Jagdeo’s description? “A very unproductive meeting”, well you can’t get more emphatic than that. So having pissed off Yesu, and bused up Burke he flies onto Toronto where he surely ragged on some Canadian Guyanese who had the gall, the hubris to actually ask a question of a public servant.
While all this is going on, eight miners are killed in the bush. Where in the amorphous bush? Excuse us, but 95% of Guyanese cannot find Christmas Falls on the map. 95% had never heard of it or the unimaginatively named “Goat Farm” until last week. It’s like a geography lesson. Yer, they know it’s somewhere down on the bottom, on the right…but please will one newspaper provide some directions? Turn right at Rosignol?
Who knows who killed who at that camp but whoever did, this country has a serious problem. Hammers to the head. Very classy. And it’s even more serious if it’s not Rawlins, cos there’s no way in hell anyone is going to arrest themselves, if you know what we mean.
Of course given the distant location, and the number killed – not exceeding the water mark 13 – this massacre was little discussed at the Suriname Guyana football match on Sunday.
Far more noteworthy was that someone could not find the tape for the national anthem so the crowd had to sing it a cappella, very badly. It was an ominous start and soon got worse what with Suriname taking an early lead.
Soon the comments were flying from the boxes. One spectator intoned the mantra over and over: “The objective of the game is to put the ball in the net…” Hey this ain’t marketing 101. Another complained how the Jaguars were “fed too much cookup and it slow them down”. Another character, upon hearing the crowd exhorting Guyana to defend, screamed “Attack! Attack!”
Generally all the expert advice came from people who haven’t kicked a football in anger in 20 plus years and who could not name a single Jaguar player.
