I want me Sharma in De Morning
It was good to see on Sunday morning as our kidneys were working overtime to eliminate a copious amount of Parbo beer from the previous night, that should one conk out we could now have it replaced at GPHC.
What a relief. Now if only the ladies could get their tummy tucks done locally, there would be no reason to fly to Miami.
Of course the Chronic made it out like Guyana had pioneered the procedure. However, like the escalator in the mall, kidney transplants have come late to this country, the first being performed in 1950 in Chicago.
Apparently the posters on the SN website’s comments pages also have not heard of this revolutionary surgery:
Gopie from the UK whose caps button is permanently locked commented: “YES, BHARAT!! WE CAN DO IT ….ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS PROVE IT…DONT LET THE CRITICS KEEP U DOWN…..CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!”
Oh, we did not realize Herr Dr Bharrat von Jagdeo actually held the scalpel. Now if only he could dive into a phone booth, transform into GI Jagdeo and find Fineman…
Cos we’re so so freakin’ (yes they’re must be at least one…actually two freakins in each column…we don’t write about eye prahblem) tired of seeing his mug on page two of the Chronic. It’s been so long they need to add some grey dreads. Hold on he’s not there anymore? Problem solved.
Naturally the kidney transplant was sponsored by the New GPC. We just love that private /public sector co-operation. Here’s how it works. We the filthy rich taxpayers advance the impoverished pharmaceutical company $500M interest free to buy drugs which they sell to the government for basically any price they like because they’re the only ones tendering.
Hey, who said doing business in Guyana is difficult? This is the kind of progress Da Silva should be writing about in his annual report. That and the other heroic Guyanese investor, Buddy Shivraj… whose well wishers actually wrote in his birthday greetings: “We can’t wish you wealth, you have that….” So classy.
Meanwhile feeling rather wobbly we almost gagged reading Ram’s masterful expose of the Q A II concessions. (Someone is leaking and he should be given the Order of Roraima for services to his country)
And now we know why they imported 90 tax-free toilet sets. So we could collectively up-chuck at the blatant cronyism of a deal that did indeed offer tax concessions for printing equipment –not a groundbreaking investment and firmly in Region Four unless Georgetown was redistricted lately. What a great idea! Draft the bill.
Then again maybe the investors need a new toilet every few days. You know how fussy royalty can be.
Of course all this confusion will be sorted out at the Tax Seminar now postponed till the End of Never, or until they have read and understood the legislation themselves.
And imagine the Times, or as it is known around town the Guyana Hard Times, is already receiving government ads. Ministry of Housing, GRDB…wow they have really earned it as El Presidente promised they must.
Heck, why must we bore you with such trivia? Guyana is progressing. The most important development last week was Jagdeo’s adoption of the shirt-jac at a Caricom meeting commemorating the Death of the CSME…well not exactly but it should be.
He looked very retro, very seventies…. very Burnhamesque. Just needs to get those thick framed spectacles and ban the entire media from his press conferences. While all around it was suits and ties – evidence of this region’s recolonization/capitulation – El Presidente stood out like a sartorial sore thumb.
And he must have been feeling pretty sore what with the spanking from the Jamaican Observer. “It went too far,” remarked one lady, obviously taking the parochial view that only Guyanese should be allowed to paddle their presidents. Whatever happened to one Caribbean?
To be honest for many of us the whole EPA rigmarole is an enigma wrapped up in a nice soft fluffy roti, and perhaps El Presidente should sign the consent form, lie back and enjoy the colonial-oscopy.
Now to the party: Parbo really is a good beer and boy did we need it, surrounded as we were by a hallucinatory collection of Hawaiian shirts and scantily clad girls in grass skirts and orchids in their hair. The charming hostess/birthday girl dazzled everyone with her ability to bend backwards touching the floor with her hands while simultaneously making sure every guest had a full glass.
Gossip revolved around Minister Persaud getting a head start on his presidential run by asking the CEO of a major public corporation ….with headquarters on the lower East coast….that shall go nameless…. to display his photo in his office. And he even emailed the photo to him. Meanwhile we understand that an impatient Jagdeo actually locked Ronald Alli out of a Guysuco meeting. Ha ha!
Meanwhile CN Sharma was at the party and it was decided that he is to hold a huge fireworks display from the roof of his Robb St office when he comes back on air. Heck if a few go astray nearby…no biggie. We also reminded him of the urgency to dedicate the first two weeks of broadcasting to death announcements so as to mop up the backlog of people waiting to die. So what with all this mirth it seemed quite natural that when the music started we had to sing:
You can bring it on Channel Six
You can bring it on Channel twelve
You can watch it on de TV
Or listen to it on the radio
Ah want me Sharma in de morning
Ah want me Sharma in de evening
We’ll watch it with Joey
Or with the short funny guy in the hat
But CN still de bass
Even though he short like r%^*
Ah want me Sharma in de morning
Ah want me Sharma in de evening
(partial attribution to
livinguyana.blogspot.com)
The Moseley move
Wouldn’t it be simpler to put Gordon under house arrest? He could become Guyana’s Aung Sung Kyi. Do you chauffeur-driven lackeys have no shame?