Welcome, Ambassador Jones

A warm sincere welcome to you Mister Ambassador representing the most-talked-about nation in the world, the United States of America (USA).

Welcome to our English-speaking State of Guyana on the north-eastern shoulder of South America – a country any objective, dispassionate, even neutral observer would describe as a nation of wasted “potential”. Your Brief would surely reveal that both external and internal – especially internal – political manoeuvrings have rendered this place stagnant, even backward in terms of material development.

However, you would most diplomatically, find Guyana “a lovely warm welcoming environment” – at your level. After all, unlike places like Burkina Faso, Honduras, Iraq, Thailand or the Dominican Republic – places you know well – we do not have sustained, large-scale conflicts.

We experience no earthquakes or hurricanes in this still-fortunate geographic safety zone. Our disasters are manmade but they keep us impoverished and under-developed like Haiti which suffers annually from both types of disasters. But why my special welcome?

Because, like a few other interested Guyanese committed to this country and to living out life right here, I am somewhat intrigued by your resumé. Even your very name is “disarmingly” interesting. John Jones? Anonymous enough to belie your substantial qualifications and experience. And, to me, at first glance your very physical persona doesn’t exude suave, urbane Ambassador “presence”. Instead, frankly speaking, you come off as a more rugged Samuel Jackson/Danny Glover type.

But your credentials man! I very nearly agreed with the young letter-writer/thinker that you are overqualified for this God-forsaken little hick-town. So I too wonder why you are here. Are there many of your type to go around? Should we actually thank the George Bush – the Second – Administration for this kind, outgoing act? Just imagine, you Sir, can speak to our neighbours, French Guiana, Brazil and Venezuela, in their own languages!

You are hands-on versed in law, business, education, war and defence studies, counterrorism and diplomacy. Should under-developed Guyana not be proud to have you? But do you want me/us to believe that you do not have any (diplomatic) priorities on your agenda? That you will allow national development and evolving events to influence or determine your programme? Naah! Too tough for my little mind to accept that.

Caracas, Venezuela must have a strong US Ambassador in place. So too must Brazil and Trinidad. I feel that Georgetown now boasts an Ambassador for all seasons and strategies. And I agree that the region’s “geo-political realities” determine the “quality of American Ambassadors posted.

So even as I welcome you I will, with appropriate respect, just observe what you do, along with what you actually say in Georgetown. Expectations of diplomatic assistance on a national scale are to be weighed against American foreign policy both internationally and regionally. If your State Department rules and policy say so, it is so. Can you really bring personality and subjectivity to bear?

Just a few areas…

Ambassador Jones, please tell your principals to do these eight things (for me).

Strengthen our border patrols and defence posts substantially. Improve surveillance and the rooting out of connivance at our international airport. Send us two good versatile helicopters. Attract American investors to burst open our Regions One and Eight. Assist the local President with his grand rain-forest conservation scheme. Offer specialised assistance to the Guyana Police Force. When de-classified and appropriate, before you go, expose the top drug lords and cartels in this place and explain why past (and present) Ministers and Police Commissioners were/are denied visas to visit your homeland!
Best of luck in your new posting Sir – for our mutual benefit!

‘Friends’ of the USA

The new American Ambassador in Georgetown, Mr Jones, will attract the usual local friends and acquaintances. Certain media people, business-oriented operatives, police personnel, PR fellows and those who attended National War College and the National Defence University. Oh, the local army brass will warm up to Mr John Jones.

The last American Ambassador to look like Mr Jones had Caribbean roots and contacts. His wife had Guyanese working colleagues and he knew how to absorb the “body politic” here. The Guyana government, however, can rely on official US-Guyana policy and relations as distinct from any personal preference or bias. Right, government? Ah, but these American Ambassadors know so much!

Until…

1. Do you realize that there is the VAT – that tax – on certain eggs!?

2. How do I get invited to those “socials” thrown by the American, Canadian and other Heads of Mission? (No wonder I’m a Brazil man)!

3. Postponed – “When the Stabroek advised President Jagdeo”.

4. Poor Cleveland Forde. Are they “using” him?

5. Farewell Victor “Doggy” Henry, my cousin from the old “Telecoms/GTC”. An innings well played Sir!

’Til next week!

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