Dear Editor,

When I first saw the article about Ms Boladass’ death I have to admit that I thought here we go again, another woman beaten, another death.  Then I saw a picture of Ms Boladass as a younger woman and the caption read “in happier times”.  I searched her young face looking for a sign of the happiness to which the writer referred and found no evidence.  I saw the face of many women that I have known, aunts, distant female relations, neighbours, women who married men for reasons other than love though sometimes it was love.  Women who have borne children and carried the burden of women’s work, that valuable though cheaply regarded labour that keeps this developing society going.

I come from a village where there were many women like Ms Boladass.  Beatings, alcoholism and murders were as much a part of life as waking up in the morning to wash clothes and getting the children ready for school.  So whilst her story was familiar she was not and I wondered about her.  I wondered if she did have happier times, if there were moments of love and compassion shared between her and her lover, if she knew the beauty of intimacy that can exist between two people.  I wondered about her children and as always I wondered angrily about why she stayed.  Don’t we all think that when we hear about domestic violence “why she stay, why she didn’t leave him”.

I am tired of opening the newspaper and seeing stories of women being killed by those closest to them.  How do we break this cycle?  How do we make men stop and make women walk away?  I was tempted to do some research showing a nexus between a beating and a heart attack but then it seemed pointless.  Karen de Souza of Red Thread has already spoken and I am sure many more will.  Who will listen?  So I will say a prayer for Ms Boladass and I hope that if there is a God that she has welcomed Ms Boladass into her arms and restored her dignity.

Yours faithfully,
Nadia Sagar