–before it’s too late
Within days of being beaten and chopped in front of her young children, a 25-year-old woman has returned to her abusive, reputed husband even as her mother pleads with her to leave the relationship before it is too late.
Jane (not her real name) had both her arms broken, her face battered and was repeatedly threatened with death by the 33-year-old man she has been with for just over a year. The abused woman had made reports to the police on at least two occasions but like many of the women in her situation, subsequently forgave her partner and accepted him back into her life.
Speaking from personal experience, Red Thread member Wintress White said that the longer a woman stays in an abusive relationship, the harder it is to walk away. White told Stabroek News that society doesn’t understand the psychological effect abuse has on women and instead of criticism and judgement, support should be given.
Only Jane, she said, can put an end to the violence in her life and even if someone were to file a police report on her behalf at some point she would have to give a statement.
White stated that the door to the organisation is always open to abused women. There is a drop-in centre at 72 Princes and Adelaide streets where women can receive support in all forms.
Valerie Smith recently recounted the harrowing story of her daughter’s abuse during an emotional interview with this newspaper at her home at Farm, Mahaicony.
She said Jane had lived in a city apartment complex with her two daughters, now aged five and three years old, and their father. That relationship soured and Jane started a relationship with another man who was living in the same apartment complex about a year ago.
She said that from the time the relationship started the man has been beating her daughter. Last year, Smith said – though she could not remember the date – he broke both of Jane’s arms. He has threatened to end her life on more than one occasion.
According to Smith, in February this year, she moved Jane back to Mahaicony after the man had battered her face. Reports were made at two separate police stations in the city after abusive episodes.
Smith told this newspaper that the day after they returned to Mahaicony, the man showed up and after speaking with Jane, entered the house and told her that he wanted to complain about Jane.
Smith, who is a special constable attached to her home community said that at one point her daughter interjected but the man told her to shut up and to “allow he fuh talk”.
Later, the man who is a part-time mason, had breakfast with the family and left. However, he returned the next day and according to Smith, she overheard him asking Jane if he could spend the night.
He did spend that night and many more nights after that. He would take money for Jane and the two would have many telephone conversations.
Smith recalled that some time last month the couple had a problem, and this resulted in her telling the man to leave her home. He was infuriated and stayed away for about two weeks, but would speak to Jane on the phone.
Smith said that during one of those conversations her daughter told the man to return and he did.
Asked why she allowed the man to stay at her home, Smith said Jane did not confide in her; it was other persons who would tell her what was happening. She said when she confronted Jane, she would deny those things and at one point she even said that he should stay because there were no males living in the house. At that time Smith said that she worked late hours so, Jane, her two young sisters and children were alone at home.
Latest incident
On Sunday afternoon, Smith returned home from church and was told that the man had punched Jane in her belly and face, chopped her in her back and dragged her off by the hair. He reportedly then forced her onto a bicycle and rode off with her. The incident occurred in the presence of Jane’s children and two sisters.
Smith said that during the ordeal, one of the children called the police but the ranks did not respond. “Dem man, ah get to hear, just stand around and seh dat dem ain’t getting in man and woman story,” she added.
Later that day relatives and friends formed a search party and the man was spotted with a cutlass in dense bushes. Jane was lying on the ground.
Police too became involved in the matter and armed ranks searched the mosquito-infested bushes for the couple but came up empty-handed.
On Monday night, Jane called her mother’s home and asked a relative to find out the cost for a truck to remove her belongings.
She later turned up, “with her face well battered”, Smith said, and collected a bag of her clothing along with all the man’s belongings including his tools. Smith said Jane told her that she had managed to escape from the man and made her way down to Georgetown where she rented a room. Smith told this newspaper that her daughter claimed she had stolen some money from the man.
The woman added that she is clueless as to her daughter’s whereabouts, but expressed the belief that she was with the man.
“Ah don’t know why she gone back to he. Why she following he and he treating she suh?” she asked rhetorically, adding that she wanted her daughter to get out of the relationship and start focusing on herself.
Smith said that every day especially when she goes to church she prays for God to give Jane guidance.
Jane’s children
Late last year, Smith was given custody of the children after their father went to the Probation and Welfare Department at the Ministry of Human Services claiming that she was medically unfit to take care of them.
Smith explained that the children’s father had earlier “put dem out” along with their mother and she had started to care for them. She said that because they were both girls, after investigating their father’s claim, the Welfare Department told her to keep them. However, since then, neither parent has been contributing to their upkeep. Smith told this newspaper that she is under great financial pressure to look after the children and is barely able to make it with the help of some relatives.
Smith said that since the incident on Sunday, the older girl is hardly eating and she believes that witnessing the ordeal has affected the child.
Speaking of the children’s father, Smith said that he used to visit the home but stopped because Jane’s abuser was in the habit of “beating he up. Look they even had a story at the police station”.
Smith said that when she asked her daughter on Monday night what would happen to the children, she said she would send money to help support them.
“How she gon do that? She isn’t working,” Smith said.