Dear Editor,
Desmond Hoyte once told me that he had developed an effective technique for handling people who irritated him repeatedly. When confronted by them he would give the appearance of listening to them corporeally but spiritually he would be miles away. He called this technique ‘the wall,’ and was satisfied that he had mastered it in terms of relating to obnoxious and bothersome people without seeming impolite or boorish. Apparently there were people for whom the wall went up the moment they entered his office or whatever space he was in. With others the wall went up immediately after the exchange of social exordia.
I was in Mr Hoyte’s office one day when a certain party supporter was about to enter for a discussion. He was a particularly unpleasant and irksome man who spoke down to everyone, thought a lot of himself and saw every problem in ethnic terms. I sensed the wall had gone up the moment the man entered Mr Hoyte’s office. After being invited to stay I sat back and studiously observed the exchange.
What fascinated me most was that neither Mr Hoyte’s body language nor his interjections betrayed the fact that he had travelled.
I remember the visitor thanking the party leader profusely for giving him so much time and listening so attentively to his advice. After the man left in visible euphoria shutting the door behind him, Mr Hoyte turned to me, removed his glasses and asked “What was that all about?”
Every modern leader needs to develop his or her own technique for interfacing with people who irritate or bother them without being abrasive or churlish.
Yours faithfully,
F. Hamley Case
