Dear Editor,
The attendance at the funeral of the late popular businessman Albert ‘Bolo’ Joseph was undoubtedly one of the largest to date, deserving of being held at the McKenzie Sports Club, which is now seen as the most appropriate venue for the well-attended funerals of popular and outstanding personalities who have served the community well in one way or another. I was not present, but from all reports the occasion was grand, a deserving send-off with people from all walks of life in attendance. Among them were important personalities, members/ heads of various religious fraternities, government ministers and politicians of different political persuasions.
Editor, this particular funeral, for all its well meaning, social bonding and sentiment, struck me as curious and jolted my memory. The presence of government ministers and politicians who hardly knew anything about ‘Bolo’ except probably his name and never had any kind of interaction with him whatsoever, made me ponder. I do accept that the manner of one’s death could galvanize almost everyone, including politicians et al, to come together in solemn solidarity to give moral support and show revulsion against a mean act that snuffed out a life, and who would want to argue against that. Still, I couldn’t avoid it; this funeral brought to the fore a short story I read some years ago: Funeral of a political yard fowl by Austin Clarke, which told about the funeral of a common but very popular grave-digger and supporter of a ruling party who was stabbed to death during an argument over a domino game – Lionel.
I do not intend that this letter should be compared to Austin Clarke’s story – I wasn’t there; it’s just that from what I’ve been told the story came back to me. As the story goes the government’s input into Lionel’s funeral arrangements was complete, so as to make it more effective and politically beneficial. The Prime Minister ordered his entire Cabinet to attend – lead the procession and mingle with the mourners. They were told to get out of their cars about one mile from the main gate to the cemetery and walk: “We will be killing two birds with one stone, showing our grief and concern for the small man,” at which they all burst into fits of laughter. The PM was very dramatic about his ministers getting it into their heads that this was a political funeral: “We walking behind Lionel’s coffin out of pure politics and nothing more; that stupid… who couldn’t do nothing more than slam domino. This is not about he, is all about we.” He further went on: “…when they drop Lionel’s coffin in that hole, I want each and every one o you… to start crying – weep like s…”
With elections around the corner, Lionel’s funeral was timely and well orchestrated to give them just the perfect start into another term. “All this nice feelings, all this emotion should be captured with a Colour Television Camera.”
So satisfied was the PM at the end of the funeral that he uttered in pure contentment to no one in particular: “Politic is like a nice funeral – like this one”! And everyone who witnessed it, all said “What a lovely funeral we give Lionel!”
Yours faithfully,
Frank Fyffe