By Miriam Williams
Gender-based violence is a broad topic that requires focused attention on the most affected by this phenomenon. In this installation, I will attempt to define the issue, outline the general social acceptance of gender-based violence, highlight some issues women and men face with relevance to the topic, and discuss the impact on children, highlighting the cultural, religious, economic, media/music influence on this issue. I will deal with relevant topics in subsequent instalments, focusing on solutions.
Gender-based violence is defined as violence that targets individuals or groups of individuals on the basis of their gender. It includes violence committed against women and which is particular to women, such as rape, sexual assault, female circumcision, dowry burning, torture, mutilation, sexual slavery, forced impregnation and murder. It also includes violence that is committed against women for failure to conform to restrictive social norms. The Vienna Declaration has recognized gender-based violence as a human rights concern. Although the prevailing evidence is that women and children are the primary victims, violence also affect men, but for obvious reasons I will be focusing on women.
Violence against women is a traditionally taboo subject that finally has gotten the attention of the general public due to the recent spate of spousal murders and increase in reported cases of domestic abuse.There is however, substantial under-reporting of cases. Recent statistics obtained from the Ministry of Human Services suggests that for the period January to June 2010, 1584 children were abused, and 222 children were separated as a result of abuse, 45% were placed in residential care facilities, 38% were placed with relatives and 13% in foster care. Unicef posits that a total of 3,175 cases of child abuse were reported to the CPA for the period September 2009-2010, of those 602 were child sexual abuse. Of the period 1999-2009, the highest incidence of reported abuse cases were 2004-05. An interview conducted with Help and Shelter gives an alarming picture of the reality of the situation. Their statistics show that since November 1995 to December 2010, with one on one counselling a total of 9,151 reported cases of various forms of abuse, inclusive of 1,295 being women. The total hotline calls received amounted to 3,627. Margaret Kertzious, Coordinator, stated that her agency is doing everything in its power to alleviate this scourge and is presently conducting empowerment sessions in the worst affected areas.
Social Acceptance: We have been socialized to accommodate the culture of violence with ‘a word and a blow’ from childhood, where in some cases, we were taught to resolve differences by ‘defending’ our rights or risk being viewed as a ‘wimp /softie’ if we chose to walk away from an altercation. The many satirical lyrics of popular songs such as Sparrow’s ‘beat dem down’ and such like, many dramatic plays, music videos and movies propel the negative social degradation of women. Our society has come to accept abuse as the norm and as a result has become insensitive to the trauma and indelible mark it leaves on a child who suffers or witnesses any form of violence/abuse. In the rural areas, the scourge of violence is more pervasive but it has quickly spread to the city. This violence has spread from our homes, high-jacked our schools, (the evidence of teachers being attacked and the students violently attacking each other is staggering) conducted a hostile take-over of our once-safe neighbourhoods, with its evil cousins of illicit drugs, trafficking in persons, prostitution, murder and sexual assault among other social ills that are prevalent.
A study conducted by a local NGO EvcGy, on knowledge, attitudes and practices pointed out that violence is the root cause for the separation of children and families.
The experience of victims – Gender based violence has escalated to volcanic proportions leaving many policy–makers ‘scratching their heads’ in bewilderment grasping for a solution to this problem. Violence against women has reached pandemic proportions in our small country; the evidence suggests that women and children are those most affected by this phenomena. One has only to peruse the media stories, to bemoan the frequency with which our consciousness is shattered with the stark reality that this is not a societal ailment that can easily be ignored. The statistics are staggering and the evidence stacked up against men is appalling. Many women have been murdered at the hands of their husbands/ spouses/lovers, en- route to the divorce courts or just pursuing freedom. Many innocent children are left to mourn and are traumatized by the loss of both parents. These children were themselves the victims and sometimes witnesses to these heinous crimes and are sometimes left with family members, usually grandmothers, who are usually ill-equipped to nurture and protect them from further trauma. This leads to further fragmentation of the families, over burdens the CPA to counsel and place these children in alternative /foster care. This is just an example of how personal challenges that started in the home have national implications… pulling on already limited resources.
The cliché ‘Jealousy is as cruel as the grave’ rings true. The blood of these murdered women ‘cry out’ for justice from the grave, testifying to that fact. Their epitaph inscribed with the poem, ‘I got flowers today’. The perpetrators of these crimes use as their motto: “If I can’t have you then no one else can!” they love obsessively and are lousy losers, most of these cases are directed towards women who are in transition from a turbulent relationship and are trying desperately to move-on and to create a better life for their children, whether locally or abroad. The popular Mary J. Blige song “no more drama” comes to mind. Growing up in our society, one recalls the neighbour who ‘got blows’ from her spouse because of his druken rage, for whatever reason he felt justified in ‘stamping his authority’ in his home. Community members observing helplessly, not wanting to interfere in ‘family affairs’ and victims afraid to seek help or speak-out, guided by the maxim ‘what goes on in this house stays in this house!’ Are we really our brother’s keeper?
The empowerment of women has been slow to take root in our society, due to religious and cultural norms… like ‘women submit to your husband’, or the Hindu’s perspective that women are lesser beings than men, or our Chinese ancestry that taught us that the boys were more important than the girls and women were placed here to serve men. Even slavery has contributed to this paradigm where the ‘Massa’ often violated female slaves…
Responses:
The women’s lib movement has contributed to the empowerment of women. This empowerment has led to the economic enhancement of women and has seen an increasing number of women asserting themselves as the equal partner to their male counterparts, and refusing to be treated as ‘less than’. The recent economic crisis has caused the ‘tables to turn’ in many households, where men have been unceremoniously ‘laid-off’, and are forced to depend on their spouses as the major ‘bread-winner’ for their families. Even the remittances from abroad ceased. As a result chronic depression, suicidal thoughts and rage ensue; which can lead to a defragmentation of families and a resurfacing of deep-seated insecurities.
A significant need of a man is respect/validation and the instinctive desire to adequately provide for his family, once that is taken away then he tends to feel worthless and ‘lashes out’ at those closest to him. The escalating incidence of alcoholism, drug-abuse and domestic violence are related cross-cutting issues that affect the morbid reality of our society. The man once accustomed to wielding his wallet like a sword of authority, thinks he has no alternative to resort to physical, verbal, psychological and other forms of abuse to ‘control’ his spouse, or as they would usually boast to their ‘drinking-buddies’…. “I had to show she who is boss!” The sitcoms and some comedy shows peddled locally fuels this hypothesis of the public humiliation of men, stripping them of any dignity while insisting on portraying them as ‘whips’, further embedding the opinion that they are not in ‘control’ of their families and our matriarchal society being raised by grandmothers and mothers, taught by mostly women in the schools and most of our bosses are female don’t help the situation. The Chairman of the MEN Network Dr. K. Gilbert is of the opinion that education, and a participatory approach is the key to addressing this issue. Dr. Myles Munroe spoke to the issues men faced when he visited last year. A National Men’s Affairs Bureau has since been established to facilitate pertinent issues.
Government strategic interventions have been to offer support through the reformation of the archaic laws and have passed several bills that provide protection for the most vulnerable such as the Domestic violence Act, sexual offences bill, the Skeldon declaration among others. The government enhancement programme supported by USAID and Unicef with the Ministry of Human services taking the lead, have aggressively launched a campaign in May 2010 to stop the violence, ‘no more black and blue’ is aimed at raising awareness at a national level, and a five-year strategy, that encompasses both upstream policy advocacy as well as community based activities, ensuring that the prevention of violence against women and children is seen as a national priority. ‘White zones’ are being established to serve as safe places within communities for survivors of domestic violence. November 25, 2010 was recognized as the international day for the elimination of violence against women.
The Unicef Representative in his press statement declared that “Unicef recognizes the elimination of violence is a mammoth task which needs not only governmental intervention, but a robust partnership proving a continuum of servicers in order to change societal attitudes that condone violence against women and perpetuate gender inequality.” Doris Roos further explained that “it will take a collaborative effort of all Gov’t Ministries, FBOs, civil society, NGOs, Community groups, to join hands to effectively address this issue.” As Henry Ford eloquently states; “coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.”
We need a paradigm shift to ensure that the violence perpetuated against women is adequately addressed. A guiding principle is responses must ensure the safety of the victims and that the perpetrators are held accountable. There is absolutely no excuse for a man violating, hitting or even murdering his spouse or hurting children, even if provoked, the excuse is always‘she provoke meh, or she mouth too hot’. Use a different strategy like Ghandi, try non-violent communication.
Seek counselling, do something constructive! What can be done to alleviate this scourge of violence in our society? What are the proposed next-steps?
