Dear Editor,
Some time ago, I carried out a very rudimentary experiment and offered my conclusion in a letter to you. I had concluded from my experiment that ignorance mixed with gasoline caused a chemical imbalance in humans with unpredictable results. Since then, persons more knowledgeable than myself have done the experiment again, adding stupidity and belligerence to the original mixture along with other substances and certain signs and symbols. The results were quite explosive and my colleagues have authorized me to make them known.
The basic mixture and gasoline has been extended to include stupidity and belligerence and any other flammable substance, such as alcohol.
The experiment then showed that when certain signs/symbols, for example a dollar sign ($), are added to the mixture, the volatility increased exponentially, along with the explosive likelihood such that all persons in close proximity to where the final reaction takes place are affected – a type of collateral damage. The experiment noted that the chemical composition of all the combustible substances remained virtually constant at all times. However, it is the extent of ignorance, stupidity and belligerence when added, influenced by the signs/symbols, that brings about the disastrous results.
One of my colleagues with a peculiar sense of humour has suggested that the Ministry of Home Affairs should place on certain categories of vehicles warnings similar to those placed by the Ministry of Health on cigarette packages. For example: “The Ministry of Home Affairs advises that travelling in this vehicle can be hazardous to health. Proceed at your own risk.” Whilst another colleague, a sociologist, is prepared to come up with an ignorance/stupidity questionnaire which, dependent upon the answers to certain seemingly innocuous questions, would help the authorities determine whether or not the respondent should be granted a driver’s licence for a particular category of motor vehicle.
What you have here, Editor, is a quasi-scientific approach to finding the reason for and a solution to the ‘nonsense’ (to use a most gentle word) on our roads, since radar guns, breathalyzers, police patrols, changes in the law, and entreaties from a variety of sources seem to have little or no effect.
Yours faithfully,
C E Housty