Dear Editor,
Recently the ‘spit press‘ has taken centre stage and caused anxiety in the nation through a series of unsubstantiated rumours which I dare not repeat. Had it gone to the print press it would have outnumbered SN and KN in daily sales.
Soon the results would be announced and I join with the presidential candidates to ask for peace and acceptance of the results.
Yours faithfully,
(Name and address provided)