Hot Momma’s Advice: Use love and logic to bring in consistency along with the New Year!!!
2012 is here! The new school term is beginning and there are lots of things to do. I hope you made the time to have your child’s eyes and ears checked like we talked about last time. Now is also an important time, my Hot Momma says, to really focus on laying the foundation of your parenting style and philosophy. Recently, she told me about a book she used when she raised us called, Parenting With Love And Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. This book’s foundation influenced the way she parented us at home and in our education. A few main beliefs that form the foundation of Love and Logic can really improve the way you approach working with your child at home and in school.
‘Discipline is effective when it is a central part of learning.’
Having the consequence match the behaviour is the best way for your child to understand his/her wrong doing and learn from it. If your child is consistently making a mess when s/he comes home from school (throwing his/her dirty shoes on the stairs and unpacking his/her bag on the floor), giving him/her licks isn’t going to help him/her learn from his/her behaviour. Having him/her clean up the entire household for a week so that s/he better understands the time and effort it takes to keep a tidy environment is an appropriate consequence that matches the undesired behaviour. It’s important that your child is required to think about and deal with the consequences of his/her behaviour! Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, but it is best when these mistakes are viewed as opportunities to learn from!
‘Misbehaviour finds its roots in discouragement and control issues.’
If someone told you, “You are bad at math,” or “You just have to sit there even if you’re done with your work and are bored,” what do you think you would do? Most misbehaviour comes from the environment and attitude surrounding us.
To encourage good behavior from your child, make sure that s/he is given open choices (when you find fit) and encourage and praise good behaviour instead of acknowledging only the bad. This will help increase your child’s confidence and allow him/her self-regulation that will help improve his/her behaviour and attitude at home and at school.
‘Modelling of self-disciplined behavior is our best teaching tool.’
You are your child’s best teacher. Showing your child how to do things and practicing the behaviour you want to see is the best way to set a good example. If you want to see your child do something right, it’s a good rule of thumb to do it right yourself!!
Using love and logic is a great way to help you as parents and teachers develop skills that will enable your children and students to learn responsibility, make good choices, and face consequences. If parents and teachers think, react, and deal with children in a loving and logical manner that is consistent both at home and in school there will be a higher rate of academic and personal success!
Please send specific or general questions about your children’s education or ways to teach them to: [email protected]
