Trying not to be caught up in the mere commercial hype surrounding the American-inspired Mothers Day observances, I chose to repeat these thoughts, first penned a few years ago, today, a full eight days before this year’s day dedicated to those females who are mothers of some kind.
But in recycling certain views, one sees how some principles, some conditions never change as significantly as the years do. Here goes.
The simple basic definition of “mother” is “a female parent”. Parent? How many of today’s young mothers have been taught, or know, about parenting? Okay, I know many aspects of parenting come naturally to females. It was/is so ordained (?). for the perpetuation of the species. But I’m given to discussing today, this modern concept of the single parent. Especially the Single Parent Mom. You know the modern mantra: “I’m a single-parent”. Unavoidably, but sometimes annoyingly voiced with dubious pride! What became of the father (parent)?
I’m aware that the single-parent syndrome was around since my childhood, six decades ago. (I was a “victim” of absent “parents” but a beneficiary of a caring grand-mother myself). But somehow back then the situation was handled with more grace, more privacy, perhaps more regret-and shame.
Today?
SINGLE MARCIE – AND ST. MARY
Changing values, depressed socio-economic conditions, illiteracy and the inability to reason, to be tolerant or even know what love is; as well as rampant moralistic decay, have all thrown up thousands of single-parent “Marcie’s”. Abandoned young moms, break-away matured mothers and others who are single by choice, or genuine widows. (Mind you I’m not even discussing the current scourge of domestic violence and spousal abuse.) Like the growing legion of homeless street-people and drug addicts, Guyana now probably “boasts” more unmarried mothers than wedded moms.
I have no space to detail the reasons here. Rather I can indicate the failings of those who, in the past were powerful enough to minimize the phenomenon of the past sixties: the good old-time parents and parenting, the church, the wholesome community organizations and moral education in schools. Granted, as those institutions became diluted and more cosmetic, young men felt more free to be irresponsible and eager hapless girls spawned teen pregnancies.
The other day I came across the Jehovah Witnesses’ take on the matured Virgin Mary, as a single parent! Whether you agree with the provocative Witnesses or not, their views on a struggling, faithful, religious mother make interesting reading. With an open mind (you Christians), check these quotes.
A DEVOTED WIFE AND MOTHER
Apart from the accounts of the birth and infancy of Jesus, Mary is mentioned little in the Gospels. Yet, we know that Mary and Joseph had at least six other children. You may find this surprising. However, consider what the Gospel says.
Joseph had great respect for Mary’s privilege of bearing God’s Son. Consequently, he refrained from having sexual intercourse with her before Jesus’ birth. Matthew 1:25 states that Joseph “had no intercourse with her until she gave birth to a Son.” The word “until” in this verse indicates that after Jesus’ birth, Joseph and Mary had normal sexual relations as husband and wife. The Gospel accounts say that, as a result, Mary had children with Joseph, both sons and daughters. James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas were Jesus’ half brothers. She had at least two daughters. (Matthew 13:55, 56) However, the children were conceived in the usual manner.
Some take Joseph’s absence from scripture as an indication that Joseph died sometime before Jesus’ ministry began. In any case, it does seem that Mary was a widow by the end of Jesus’ ministry. At the time of his death, Jesus entrusted his mother to the apostle John. (John 19:26, 27) Jesus would not likely have done so if Joseph were still living.
Have you lost your mate in death? Do you still feel the pain and emptiness such a loss causes, even after many years? No doubt Mary found solace in her faith and in the knowledge that there will be a resurrection.* (John 5:28, 29) Such comforting thoughts, however, did not end Mary’s problems. Like so many single mothers today, she faced the challenge of caring for her children without the help of a husband.”
They go on to expound, in informed speculation that the elder Jesus probably took over the “father” role. Since I do not wish to spark any controversy over these views about Mary, and end there, I want to depict a courageous, spiritual single mother. But my point, my hope is: there should be fewer single moms! Except when a good father is taken away.
CELINA IN HER CELL…
“Celina” is very well known to me. Allegations against her were taken to the police who promptly arrested her when she voluntarily presented herself to them at their Georgetown Police Station.
This is not to judge whether Celina is actually guilty of the allegations that could be transformed into charges. I would be wrong-and breaking some law-to attempt to do the Court’s work. These remarks do have to do with the conditions of the holding facilities for females. Something two of our top female members of parliament once investigated, were aghast about, and were moved enough over, to demand basic humanitarian improvements.
First of all, the Police in their own learned judgment, can hold persons accused of unlawful behaviour against others for 72 hours (three days) without actually charging them. Arrests-on mere allegations-can be effected; investigations proceeded with, then charges – or release.
I suspect that our police (authorities) will respond and clarify, if Celina has embellished or exaggerated, but here is what she reported on her conditional release.
All female suspects are taken into a cell and instructed to undress to nudity; to squat; to cough and to be examined most intimately. This is the normal, routine PROCEDURE for all females held-charge or no charge. Police have to ensure that “prisoners” conceal no weapons, no drugs, no messages.
I agree, though it’s all so degrading, humiliating. The (fair) professional female cops care not whether the suspects are regular bad-girls or first-time professional accountants or business execs. The law and procedure know no status! Right? Wanna bet?
My point is this: would those police ladies subject the two female MP’s or a senior female cop, or a Drug baron’s daughter to the procedure IF they are arrested and detained? Status should never be above law and “procedure”.
You decide. The two female parliamentarians must know that female detainees in Celina’s Cell are not privileged to have bed sheets, pillows and such basics even when not charged. Stinking foam “mattresses” on bare concrete still feature; favouritism for certain detainees still prevail, it is alleged. And how often can the detained females drink ordinary water? Or even take in their inhaler for their asthmatic condition?
Yes Parliamentary ladies, spare some more time to visit the cells that hold Celina lady-suspects. Before they are charged, tried, found guilty – or not.
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CONSIDER…
Two Arrival Day questions: (i.) How come so many Indo-Guyanese retain religious and cultural ties to India after 174 years? (ii.) What would today’s Guyana have been like, without descendants from India?
A puzzled Bajan: a Barbadian who is visiting Guyana after thirteen years is working out our trade-union/employer “striking puzzle”. There are times when the union calls out workers and they might be scared to strike. Now the government – employer calls out workers and some are scared not to go. Poor Bajan.
All the four Corentyne Cocaine accused have been freed by the Courts. Not one is guilty according to the Courts. Justice, Guyana- style.
GECOM says it’s ready for any early elections. I forget the caveat.
Congrats to the Culture Ministry’s Music Development Unit for its wonderful Evening of jazz this past Monday evening.
We still have some top-class jazz practitioners around. Sheer beauty this Monday. What’s next?
Til next week!
(Comments? Allanafenty@yahoo.com )
