Dear Editor,
I was about to write a letter on a totally different subject matter when a letter penned by Lurlene Nestor in the Stabroek News of May 28 caught my eye (‘We should do research on teen violence’).
Although I was not named in her letter, she did refer to something I had written in the Guyana Chronicle, and wrongly accused me of putting the blame for teen violence on single parent homes. This could not be further from the truth because first and foremost single parent homes are a fact of life and something we have to live with. The point I was making was that the institution of ‘home’ in its truest sense has lost its purpose, that is to provide the type of upbringing which makes a child someone worth taking his/her place in society.
That institution has eroded. There are things you would do without thinking in your home, whether single parent or otherwise, whereas, the principles evident in grandma’s home prevented you from even fantasizing with the idea. The reason is that grandma instils home training, or grandma has standards. I deliberately use the grandma, female single-parent training scenario, to illustrate the point that disciplining or training is not a ‘home’ thing or a male domain only; it can be and is done in many a matriarchal setting. In fact, in the setting mentioned above the whip is hardly ever used; the mere thought of the consequences and the teen complies. The truth about training is that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. However, training today has taken on a whole new meaning; values, morals or boundaries are not instilled in the child. These concepts are considered archaic, a term Ms Nestor uses, and which are vaguely revisited when another teen murder takes place. Speaking of boundaries, in the old school the traditionalists believed flogging was the only way a child could respect these, and that its swift administration in copious amounts forcefully brought home the message to the out of place youngster.
The modernists with their psychology believe that the child should be told – let me say begged – into accepting the boundaries. Well, there has been an awful lot of begging or cajoling of teenagers today, and where are we?
In the United States alone where children have been brought up in this enlightened era of sociological thought we see an ever increasing number of gruesome teen murders. Could someone give me a sensible answer for this?
We here in Guyana have had our fair share of such morbid happenings also. When a teen takes a knife and aims for the heart or the jugular, or shoots to the head then let‘s not pretend that youngster does not know what the result will be. So let me remain a traditionalist – of course with a touch of psychology – rather than a pure modernist.
Ms Nestor then called on the church and the government to help the youth, but here again let me bring her back to reality; schools, social clubs and churches are in abundance but there are kids who do not attend school or when they do there is little learning. And when the child comes home there is no guidance or questions like, ‘What have you done at school today?‘ or ‘Let me see your homework?‘ Speak to the school teachers and you get the chilling response about kids who are just hanging around school with few or no books and certainly no homework to show.
That child might otherwise be engaged in gang training on the block with friends of questionable character, who might want him to sell drugs to ‘earn’ a living.
Here in St Lucia the situation has become so grave the government had to revive the truancy laws, picking up youngsters during and after school hours when they are found loitering or in places where they should not be. There are truancy laws on the books in Guyana also which should be revisited.
Let me conclude by saying youths must learn a skill, learn to sing, learn to play a musical instrument, learn pan – there is gainful employment with these skills. Look at the lives of positive role models; go to the gym, play football, cricket, cycling, try boxing – use up that aggression there.
Go to church join a church club. When I say go to church I am not saying go there for charitable handouts only, which seems to be the norm these days, but go to church for spiritual and moral upbringing. That’s what life is about; put systems in place, and enforce the systems to restore the community to a place where we can safely live.
Yours faithfully,
Neil Adams
