As another American-inspired (now commercialised ) “Day” looms on Sunday, I feel compelled to re-visit these views I first shared here a few years ago.
For if anything has changed, it has been for the worse.
It’s all about the bulk of today’s Guyanese fathers, the traditional, biological male parents (s).
Oh how reluctant I am to use even the descriptions “father” and “parent”. Are those noble dutiful concepts still real in these parts?
Real fathers …
Look, satisfied and thankful mothers and children have every right to pay respect and gratitude; to honour and celebrate their real responsible fathers on Sunday. How can we not welcome that loving celebration of recognition and of showing affection? After all, those real dads still head the home, marshall and protect their families, provide as best they could in this challenged economy and live up to the definition of being “the male parent who is naturally protective and supportive, engendering a number of desirable benefits for family and community whilst offering his own sons and daughters the exemplary role-model, father figure they need”
Yes, I’ve been re-reading all about the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood. Even at this advanced stage, I have even graded myself based on criteria both from the manuals and from the reality of life, when my four daughters were growing into teenagers and adulthood. How did I score? Ask them!
Oh but the books and studies will tell you that good (trained?) fathers have key roles to play in reducing behavioural problems encountered by sons and psychological challenges and uncertainties which face growing girls; that fathers impact upon their children’s social stability, school-work, even their future as adults (and parents) themselves.
To me, I will add that it is vital for mothers and fathers, together in a home, to decide and agree on common approaches to child-rearing. Let your children realize that you both agree on a particular course of action concerning them.
Congrats to you fathers still at home with your wives and children. You are the home’s head and co-authority. (Even if the mother uses you as a bogey-man, scare tactic sometimes: “you wait ‘til your father comes home…”
Absentee sperm-donors…
Despite the most desirable positive spin above, I entreat real fathers and the social workers, the marriage counselors (?), the family-planners/parenthood guides, to mount community campaigns to educate fathers-to-be and young fathers, just how to cope with that responsibility and role.
There is now a demise of genuine fatherhood here. You and I can list ten causes. But we must strive relentlessly for solutions. Even in this God-forsaken economy where modern-day morality dictates cheating, riches through illegality and crime – and the abandonment of real pride and real religion.
A few years ago, I evaded the so-called Human Services Ministry and actually ventured into that long-established NGO – The Guyana Responsible Parenthood Association – the GRPA. I took its title seriously. Too seriously! They had not a thing on parenting for fathers. Nothing! Oh, except one poster on one door reminding visitors that “Fathers are parents too”.
The lesson? That come Sunday and beyond, let there be visits to the villages and Georgetown’s depressed areas, loudly teaching young men how to be good fathers.
The hundreds of “single-parent” mothers these days know their chile-fathers merely as sperm-donors. Okay, the sociologists and criminologists will argue that the economy has limited opportunities for young fathers to provide for their partners and offspring. Point taken. So on Sunday let’s devise new help-stations and safety nets for absentee fathers willing to come forward.
I grew up without a father myself. I know the value of old-time grannies and aunties. But that male guide is still invaluable – after the sperm and egg produce an innocent little human-being. Let Sunday signal an effort to assist young fathers in some structured manner. But not only in the church. Go to where they are!
Syria – and America’s role
This brief commentary is provoked by the daily deadly Syrian mayhem and massacres brought into my house by my Cable TV.
Yet another Arab State – Syria – is beset by the slaughter of even women and children. I agree that the world should identify the origins and causes of conflicts. But Lord, should not the world focus on the immediate? The cessation of slaughter in Syria’s towns?
I’ve been listening and reading voraciously. I’m aware of the Syrian/Iranian traditional ties; I read of the Shia/Sunni conflicts in many of those Arab States where Muslims never seem to be at one in seeking Allah’s grace; I’ve also boned up on the effects of the western Cold War politics on Arabian independence, influence and status.
We seldom examine the roles of China, Russia and, say the UK, in these modern-day Arab Conflicts. We see the results of a seemingly “spontaneous” awakening by oppressed Arabs who know how their emperors use their oil. We realize how that oil is important to other nations too.
Now, next time I’ll delve into an issue much more than I do today. It’s about the role of America supporting old Arab dictators whilst covertly empowering NGO’s and “democratic” movements in the same (separate) Arab republics. Allegedly, the Americans can’t lose, whenever regime-change occurs. They have serious influence in both camps, the top and the bottom!
So ‘til I return to this interesting global issue do this homework: write down the names of seven Arab states the USA gave significant support to – up to 2000! Then find out how Russia and China and Europe related to those seven Arab States.
Consider carefully…
*1) Who ever investigates and audits the NCN’s accounts over the past three years must be impressed by NCN’s taking between August and November 2011.
Hundreds of Election ADS; even carrying whole rallies. My, the takings from All Political Parties must have benefited NCN Radio and TV tremendously.
*2) Oh how aesthetics and traffic safety are compromised on Middle Street, west of Camp Street. Potato and Onion Trucks fuh so! Even in front of the lovely Promenade Gardens. Money talks…
*3) Five (5) reasons why editors put death on the front pages? I give you one: they feel prevalence will help prevention! Huh? Just a reflection of society, man.
*4) Have we ever done enough to honour the life and work – and memory of Dr Walter Rodney?
Til next week!
(Comments? allanafenty@yahoo.com)
