Guyana is up in arms this week over news that the Chinese are building a Marriott Hotel here but not employing any Guyanese in the construction work, and that we’re also going to have a Chinese TV channel; yes, Sumintra, a Chinese TV channel in Guyana. The furor is understandable (why the powers that be didn’t foresee it is a mystery), but apart from invective we can also turn humour on a subject to show how ridiculous it is. On that premise, in the two situations mentioned we should remember the old saying that not every setback is a misfortune, and that indeed out of these kinds of disturbing developments significant opportunities can emerge. Take the Marriott situation, for example.
The arrangement not to have Guyanese construction workers, a problem at first look, actually creates an opportunity in reciprocity; that’s a fancy word meaning simply “good for you, good for me”, and the reciprocity here is that Guyanese can now do business in Beijing and not hire one Chinese on the basis that those Oriental folks don’t have the required skills.
I will put it more directly. Because of the Marriott “no skills” precedent here the way is now clear, as an example, for Clinton Urling to open a German’s restaurant in Hong Kong, and bring all his staff from Guyana on the basis that Wong Ping and Soo Choy don’t know how to make our soup. Reciprocity. Clinton must be already packing his bags and applying for a Chinese visa; imagine one billion Chinese customers licking down that German’s soup, not to mention the cookup? You know how the Chinese love their rice; the cookup version only Guyanese can produce. Ditto with Guyana chow mein. Clinton will make so much money he could probably close down the Tiger Bay branch with all the parking problems.
Another opportunity waiting for an enterprising Guyanese would be to open a mini-bus service in chow mein land. China has huge traffic jam problems, but with their Guyana experience our mini-bus drivers would cut through that traffic like a chopper going through a wonton. With their GT expertise at running red lights, turning from the wrong lane, boring in without signalling, and overtaking blind, our mini-bus guys would weave through all that Chinese traffic. And Guyanese pick up things fast; in just a few days our bus drivers will be cussing in Chinese, picking up young Chinese girls, and answering complaints using the Chinese equivalent of the middle finger.
Also, under the reciprocity principle, the issuing of a Chinese TV licence here means we can start a Guyana TV channel in China. Think of the opportunities for us. We could advertise our products (Clinton Urling can let them know his soup is coming; Kit Nascimento could promote Hurakabra) and we could introduce the Chinese population to all the ramifications of Guyanese culture. We could mount a cooking show, for example, with somebody from Jerrie’s explaining to the Chinese how to cook chow mein – our way. And you know how Chinese menus include exotic items? Imagine the impact of a Soesdyke housewife, in full Indian gear, demonstrating the art of curry iguana. The lady might eventually even open a restaurant there, The Guyana Iguana, employing – that’s right – only Guyanese cooks and servers. In fact, she might even end up with a chain of restaurants – China is a big place, Sumintra.
Come to think of it, the Chinese TV station here is supposed to be educational; well, with the success of our mini-bus drivers there it would be a natural for the Guyana TV station in Hong Kong to have a driving instruction programme using Guyanese mini-bus drivers teaching Chinese how to drive like we do. Again, only Guyanese instructors; the Chinese are clearly unqualified. Of course, I concede we will need a Chinese translator. No way the Chinese would understand, “Move yuh back side na?” “Wheh yuh larn fuh drive? In a fowl pen?” “De light green, banna. Yuh waitin’ fuh a invitation?”
And here’s an idea for someone like Enrico Woolford. Without doing any research I know there are very few black people in China, so on TV he would be a sensation. Imagine Enrico hosting one of those nature programmes – something like Mike Charles’ ‘Wild Guyana’ – in short pants and a straw hat. The Chinese love those kinds of programmes – they would go nuts over our butterflies. Just picture Enrico with that parliamentary voice, describing the various flora and fauna of Guyana. The Chinese would eat it up. Next thing you know Enrico is talking Mandarin dialect, and his wife is in Chinese garb all over the place. Look, we could even have Roger Luncheon on TV over there on a political interview programme. Yes, as in Guyana, we would run the risk of nobody following Roger’s rhetoric, but the Chinese are a polite people; totally confused, they would nevertheless smile and bow.
The minute you start to think about this reciprocity idea, the more opportunities will come clear. One in particular I’m excited about is in the travel industry where we would have a natural advantage over other Caribbean destinations because of all the Chinese we now have here. Think of the promotion possibility: our travel agents would put together attractive packages to lure Chinese visitors to Guyana, and here’s the hook. On our TV show in China, the catch phrase for the Chinese would be “Come to Guyana, all your family’s here already.” It’s a clear winner. I can see Enrico delivering it with a grand sweep of the arm and a little bow. In addition it will be a natural development here for Mr Woolford to be the tour guide for the visitors (you see how this opportunity thing opens up?) and to steer them towards certain shopping places (another opportunity for a small piece). Can’t you just see Enrico in front of Jerrie’s, spouting Mandarin and trying to explain black pudding to 20 people in Chinese garb?
Yes, it’s a quite a jolt for Guyana – no Guyanese qualified to work in hotel construction, and, a first in the Caribbean, a Chinese TV channel here – but one door closes, another one opens. I just hope Messrs Urling, Woolford and Nascimento, remember to thank me when they’re up to their knees in money.
