In today’s world, being a mother can be a real task. Of course there are all the typical motherly duties like bathing, feeding, nurturing and loving. Most times these attributes come natural to a mother and she will find great joy in those precious moments.
A mother will also protect her child with her own life. It is a natural instinct that comes to the fore when a child is threatened in any way. Sometimes a mother doesn’t even know she had such courage in her until it is her baby she is defending. It is remarkable to see a usually mild-mannered woman turn into a roaring lion when her child is in danger.
However, aside from “normal” everyday duties of a mother, there are other very important roles she must play. Rearing a child who is capable of becoming a solid citizen in today’s world means that mothers must sometimes be willing to overcome the prejudices and hate she was taught while growing up.
This is so much more difficult than it sounds. When a woman has been taught her entire life that women are no more than punching bags and house slaves, she is likely to accept that role and teach it to both her sons and her daughters.
This means her daughter will also accept the ridiculous notion that she deserves a beating if she doesn’t have dinner ready when the man gets home. And her son will feel he somehow has a right to hit “his” woman if she does not have dinner ready for him when he wants it.
Likewise, if a woman is taught to be suspicious of other races or to consider her race to be superior to another, she is likely to teach that same racial hate to her children.
Why is it that in some places of the world those with gender identities other than what is considered status quo – like homosexuals – are embraced and accepted and in other parts of the world they are treated with contempt and even murdered for something they cannot change any more than they can change their eye colour? It is because of what we are taught as children.
War, violence, animal cruelty, rape and so much more are actually socially acceptable in this modern world! How did the human race become so despicable? How did we reach such low standards? We have created a frightening karmic cycle that has to be stopped and women are the ones who can do it.
It is time for mothers to teach our children a better way of life. It is time to stop all the hate that permeates our world. We have the power to make this happen. We are the ones who teach our children from day one of their lives on earth. We are the ones who build the foundation upon which they will live their lives.
Being a mother is so much more than teaching a child to brush her/his teeth. We teach them to make good decisions, like how to eat right and how important it is to get a good education so they can go as far as possible as adults. We give them the tools they need to be the best possible humans they can be.
Yet with all the nurturing and care we take to raise our children, there are still too many mothers teaching violence (by using violence against the children), teaching racial hate and teaching homophobia.
There are too many mothers teaching our daughters – whether by words or by actions -that they are never good enough and must try to be some unreal and unattainable image from a magazine. Too many daughters are still taught to feel guilty about their natural sex drive while the sons are taught that it is healthy.
As mothers, we must do better. We know deep down that these teachings are wrong. We know they are counterproductive to the good of humanity. We know firsthand what sexism, racism and violence does to those around us – and to us. The only way we can make it all stop is for us to start teaching our children a better way.
This means we have to be open to change. We have to be ready to reject racial hate in all its forms. We have to be ready to challenge sexism. We have to find better ways of communicating with our children by embracing non-violent communication methods and these new methods must be implemented in all other relationships in our lives.
I am not saying this will be easy, but we can do this, Sisters. I believe what I am saying with every fibre of my being and yet still at times I find myself reacting to others in ways far below the standard I have set for myself. It takes a conscious decision to stick to a better path. If I let my guard down for even a second, I find myself relapsing back into the low standards of hate and violence.
I do not succumb for long though. I pick myself up, dust myself off and right my thinking to deal better with the next situation that arises.
There will always be those who choose violence and hatred over a higher road, but those types of people should be very few and should be rejected by right thinking people who desire a better world. The hateful and violent should not be the majority in our world. They should be the detestable exceptions.
No, Sisters, it will not be easy to make the changes that need to be made, first in us and then in our children, but we must do this. For the sake of our children and their children, we must find a way to change the violent course that has been charted for humanity. We do not have to accept this way of life as normal when we know it is actually very, very abnormal.
As you celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, contemplate the many ways you can help chart a better way in our world.
Email: StellaSays@gmail.com
