Dear Editor,
Since it is poll season, I thought that I should do my own. This ‘Mac’ (the real one) poll is unique in two respects: it involves one citizen only, and it meshes unerringly with top secret PPP thinking at the highest levels, which could be tabled at the next Congress. The poll produced the following results.
Jettison Persaud, Ali, Chandarpal and Ramsammy, as they are known and proven liabilities. The jettisoning does not have to be ceremonious. Keep Clement around –he is good as a distraction and better for a laugh. Curses and spells would be neutralized. And when all else fails, it must be remembered that a goat herder makes for the perfect fall guy.
Flip a coin and decide between Roger and Charlie. Given that, except for name, this is a communist state, it is a waste of rare talent to have these two engage in sesquipedalian (ha, ha) pontifications and obfuscations, under the umbrella of information dissemination. Have GINA (or Mary Charlie of Chronicle fame) to do the same job; it is cheaper. Citizens have to make a decision: take it or shove it.
I am only halfway through, but the festivities (bloodletting) are only beginning. Remember this is serious business.
Get rid of Ganga and Norman, meaning that there is no need for local government. The people should not be left to their own devices. That is asking for trouble. Let the reality be faced: Call it democratic centralism, or autocratic rule, or despotic ways ‒ or any other sweet sounding label ‒ this is communist country.
Eliminate (not literally) the entire Office of the President Advisory cabal. Offer them transfers to the Traffic Section of the Police Force, where they can experience firsthand what it is like to exist on only $300,000 a month. Keep Gail though, for this will keep the gender police quiet, and the tobacco lobby happy.
These are hard decisions, given the pedigree of those impacted. But getting rid of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs should be easy, since every other nation knows what Guyana stands for: Nothing! The poll was noticeably silent as to what to do with the incumbent minister. Stay at Foreign Affairs a moment longer, and recall all ambassadors.
Two would have to defect for national security reasons. By the way, one of them could be subject to impress of the most rigorous variety. It is known that Chinese water torture has worked well as an enema for doggerel.
For the moment the Education Ministry is safe in the hands of the Americans. Personnel concerns will be neatly addressed when the new visa business is resolved.
Return the PNC defector to his old comrades; he has not brought any new intelligence. Overcome compatibility issues and reach out for Carl and Basil. One never knows…
Legalize corruption. Christen it the Ministry of Procurement. If that is too officious (and revealing), then try the Ministry of Communication and Results.
House it at the National Stadium, since square footage would be in high demand because of the large population of political people, public servants, and private citizens seeking to transact business.
Last, encourage the duck to go back to being a fulltime cartoon, and the scholar to bury his head in a book; both the nation (and party) could do with a break from their antics.
This poll confirmed several simple things. It is all about moving the wrong people out, and making cosmetic policy changes. The recommendation is: Speak in a heavy voice, and wave a heavier stick. This is not only doable, but results oriented. Victory parade anyone?
Yours faithfully,
GHK Lall