Dear Editor,
The crass and uncouth behaviour of our men and fathers today, I believe has led to the decay of society, thus resulting in widespread violence and abuse in the family. This abuse and violence has deep roots in the culture that we see spreading across the regions.
It is our deep concern as a Church body to address this issue on a note that is not confined to secular or governmental programmes designed to arrest the problem in society. We agree that from a governmental perspective much work is done to improve the welfare of men/fathers.
We are all called to make a contribution to the well-being of families one way or the other, and as such, our hearts are burdened with the task of reshaping, redefining and restructuring our society with core values that speak of men/fathers taking the lead role in this effort.
The word gentleman is seldom used in our everyday communication with each other; rather we have coined other phrases like ‘big man’ and ‘banna,’ to fit into our colloquial expressions when referring to a male.
This practice in itself has left us devoid of the true expression of defining a gentleman. The word was originally used to describe a man of good family, but not of the nobility, and later was applied to a benevolent or chivalrous male.
The Biblical definition of a gentleman seems to centre on the man’s behaviour and decorum and meant that regardless of a man’s status in society, he had to be known for his modesty, mild temperament, composure, tenderness, calmness, courtesy and kind-heartedness. It is my belief that as a Church and as a people we have moved away from this core value in the male. We have in our midst police officers who are very arrogant, unreasonable, and unprofessional in the discharge of their duties, and seldom gentleman like. (To define some policemen as being gentle is a lost cause, sad to say.) Much of this crass and disorderly behaviour can be seen in our parliament among our brightest minds, so having a degree in law or a doctorate in education does not qualify you to be a gentleman. It seems as if the more one attains academic qualifications, the lower morals and behaviour become. The evidence of this is there for all to see in the display of ignorance every day in society.
One day I had to accompany a senior citizen to the Ministry of Human Services at Stabroek Square; his pension book for 2014 was inaccessible, because of a logistical error. On arrival, we were told to go back to where we came from, as the officers there felt that we had no right coming there to query this pensioner’s book. This man had come all the way from Essequibo in Region 3 and was told to go back. When I heard this, I asked to speak to the supervisor or person in charge. The staff member at the front was very reluctant to help me find the supervisor; however, I searched from one office to the other until I came to the supervisor’s office. Minutes after I came face to face with this supervisor, whose name was Mr Banwari. When he was told of the problem, he immediately ensured that the pensioner would not leave without his pension book. He tediously and patiently went through the records and issued a book for the pensioner. This man is a gentleman in my book! Keep up the good work Mr Banwari. How relieved this seventy-three year old pensioner felt. I felt satisfaction also at the end of this ordeal.
I interact with many offices and entities on a weekly basis and there are male staff members who sometimes hold key positions, but it becomes increasingly difficult to relate to them. If they are not haughty, they are arrogant; if they are not helpful, they are authoritative; if they are not uncouth, they are crass; if they are not sensitive, they are not polite; if they are not lazy they are intolerant; if they are not racial they are biased; if they are not ignorant they are stupid; if they are not unreasonable they are irrational; if they are not approachable they are irrelevant – this is the kind of attitude and behaviour right across the city.
We believe that it is the right time to host a conference for leaders and office workers with the theme ‘Making a difference in a world that is indifferent.’ This conference should address the issues mentioned here and apart from that help to inculcate values that lend themselves to a better culture. Guyana deserves better.
To all the gentlemen among us, they should not lose their values or trade their virtues for vile affectations.
Yours faithfully,
Apostle Vanrick Beresford