You have probably had a friend tell you: “You are way prettier than her.” Or perhaps you have even asked for this justification to feel better about yourself at some point in time. I know I have.
The commercial concept of beauty which encompasses the perfect skin, face shape and brow definition has fuelled the beauty industry for years. It has caused many of us to question where we fit in – beauty wise.
For me, the constant battle of placing myself on this scale of average, extremely gorgeous or okay looking went way too far. I remember going through high school as the misfit. The other girls seemed to have already found their “cool glow” and were completely happy with themselves. I, on the other hand, figured I was not accepted because I always had the things they didn’t have like acne and spaced teeth. This chopped the level of my self-confidence significantly.
I remember not being invited to birthday parties in high school and this just somehow mentally confirmed to me that something was just not right with me.
My thoughts played for lengthy periods during my adolescent life on how to look like the other girls. I resorted to magazines and fashion books to escape into a fantasy world in order to fill the gaps that seemed to be missing. I researched almost every single beauty secret to get rid of my acne. I even plastered toothpaste on my face once.
Even though the magazines were an outlet where I could see strange beautiful things, because I thought this is where I was on the scale, there was still something missing. I was too afraid of accepting my flaws and that was the difference between some magazines and I. They were not afraid of calling strange things beautiful things.
Observing the structures and the garnering a wider appreciation of the clothing from different angles, I noticed there was some amount of beauty depending on how you looked at it. This is how I started to look at myself.
Was I actually in the wrong environment? Was I too much of an introvert? Did they need better glasses? Why did my classmates treat me like the outcast?
Whatever the case was, it shouldn’t have mattered.
The problem really was with me. I am supposed to be the person who recognises my beauty before anyone else does. I am supposed to love me, first. I projected insecurity, which allowed people to base their opinions on what they saw. The introvert stuck in the corner of the class always trying to awkwardly fit her way in. I think finding and accepting yourself is a growth thing. However, during this growth period certain choices can actually damage your natural physical beauty if you overthink and try to fix your image. This damage could also affect you mentally.
It is good to recognise your true beauty at an early stage as it helps to preserve the original you. The society we live in today allows for increased frustra-tion with one’s physical self.
Social media and digital media which can push a particular idea of beauty, sometimes makes it feel like high school all over again. The acceptance, the most friends’ requests, the most likes and the most followers. It is very possible to just sit there and wait to feel great when people compliment your ego.
Then when it wears off, you have got to seek out a way to stay relevant in order to fuel your ego. A bit sad or a bit human? It’s actually a mixture of both. We as human beings want to be loved and accepted. The problem is how much are we willing to do in order to achieve the “cool glow” and to have this sense of security.
How do we decide when to stop and on what terms to continue. The truth is only you can determine and notice when your ‘cool glow’ has arrived. How? One way is when you stop asking questions about your appearance and desist from making mental comparisons of beauty amongst your peers or strangers. It is not easy because each day we are faced with different issues that affect and question our self-esteem.
Getting into the cool glow is possibly one of the most difficult things one can achieve but at the same time, it shows your true colours.
There is no beauty regime or supplement for you to take in order for you to achieve this ‘cool glow’. The more you focus on perfecting outer beauty the more difficult it becomes for you to accept yourself and actually look beautiful.
I believe this is true beauty and the only thing you should probably try to aim for. This is how you achieve the ‘cool glow’. The best beauty treatment is self- acceptance; through this you will achieve your ‘cool glow’.
Commencing this week, Ashma John – Fashion Blogger, Critic and Writer of www.online-runway.com will provide you with the brutal truth; her thoughts on beauty, fashion, and the local and international fashion atmosphere.
Follow her on Twitter https://twitter.com/ theonlinerunway And on Instagram at http://instagram. com/theonlinerunway
