By Ashma John
Being a female is possibly one of the most stressful things to deal with. We have to deal with periods, pregnancies and patriarchy and as if that’s not enough, we seem to want to contend with each other.
Women seem to get annoyed with other women for frivolous reasons. Men, on the other hand, seem to have this brotherhood. I don’t know if they separated us in school and carved out these behavioural patterns, or if we’re just naturally ‘catty’ at times.
Some women today are no longer there for each other. We no longer respect each other and we no longer uplift each other. It is a full-out rat race to earn the ‘Queen Bee’ title. We want to now be superior to other women. This competitive force is all around us, engraved in things we spend a great deal of time with; social media likes and favourites—even to Beyoncé’s song “Bow Down”. Can’t exactly run from it even though she also says girls “Run The World”.
We are encouraged by media to compete even when we don’t realise it.
I remember once having a conversation with someone that was related to her being superior to another female because of the price of her shoes! Terribly sad, and I am even ashamed of having been part of such an encounter. Like music and social media, even fashion brings this division among us. Separating us, making us feel that the divide is a good thing. Allowing us to feel that we have made it in life and we are somewhat better when the price of a pair of our shoes is the same as three months’ rent at Bel-Air apartment; when really and truly it isn’t. That feeling of accomplishment is fuelled by the wrong type of gas aka ‘society’s commercial success scale’.
We have grown so accustomed to this competitive lifestyle that even if something looks beautiful on someone, it is difficult at times to compliment that person. We have buried our social graces, manners and love for each other. We almost cringe to speak the truth. It has gone way beyond the core purpose, which is enjoying fashion. It’s like the fashion Olympics and everyone wants that gold.
I’m sure I’m not the only one to have experienced this, but if you haven’t yet, count yourself lucky.
Is there a reverse mechanism? How can we stop this? Is it possible? If you have a group of girlfriends and you are experiencing this imbalance it can be an uncomfortable situation because not only are you trying to be yourself, but you are also trying to maintain relationships that were founded on trust, love and sincerity. To move past this, you actually have to work on what you really believe brings you positive energy. Easier said than done. I know!
Girlfriends aka your sisters are supposed to uplift you without a question, doubt or a snobbish ‘okay then’. As much as material possessions take you into temporary fantasies and bring you this amazing short term happy high, the things that radiate absolute beauty are positive energy, good friends and happy thoughts.
This divide created among women takes us nowhere. It can probably even land us in unwanted relationships and with maxed out credit cards because we are trying to prove a point; not only to our peers but to ourselves, which is downright sad! Let real beauty be genuine, kind and loving. When we see our sister looking fly, we should let her know, rather than just sit there in misery.
There is nothing uglier than a pretty face with a bad character. When your sisters are doing well compliment them, spread positive energy and be happy that one of you is actually fulfilling the dream she was meant to fulfil. For the people who can’t seem to change, I hope you do with all my heart.
You are missing out on life. Last week I celebrated one year since online-runway.com has been in existence and I have been fortunate to have people supporting me. I think it is imperative to the success of the human race and girl power. It definitely wouldn’t have been possible without the backing I have received. It made me realise how fortunate I am.
On that note, we finally have one of our own heading for stardom. Please kindly vote for Lisa Punch on ABC’s Rising Star. Let us uplift our own women. Let us be happy to see them do magnificent things whilst doing it all with style and grace. Oh you go Lisa! #girlpower
www.online-runway.com
http://instagram.com/theonlinerunway
