Although Roger John has been disabled for the past 27 years he still has dreams of using his feet again as he prepares to enter a new phase of life and hopefully achieve the financial security that he craves.
A fall when he was just 24 years old resulted in John, now 51, losing the use of his feet, and life has been a struggle for him ever since.
His main challenge is the fact that he is a fiercely independent man who has been forced to depend on others not only for his physical needs, but more importantly for his financial support, and while his siblings have been very generous he has always dreamt of the day when he could provide for himself.
The Buxton resident recently told the Sunday Stabroek that he feels that he has now reached a juncture in his life and he is about to launch into aquaponics farming, which is the combination of aquaculture and hydroponics.
For the last few years John has been taking care of himself and now lives alone, a circumstance he described as exhilarating and one that he cherishes.
It is a daily struggle, however, as just to get around in a wheelchair on the roadway is a challenge and one that drains him physically and even emotionally, but he still would never trade it in for his independence.
“It is hard and it is difficult; just trying to get into the minibus is very hard and I can only sit in two seats because of my wheelchair and the situation has caused my shoulder to hurt and trouble me…but I don’t need anyone to move about and that is what I cherish,” John said recently.
If allowed John would talk incessantly about his upcoming farming project he has described as his “destiny,” and one that he feels fate drew him to.
It was as he was conducting some work for another prospective project that John came across the word ‘aquaponics,’ a word he said he had never seen before. The more research he did, however, the more he fell in love with that type of farming.
“At the end of two days I knew that was for me, I just knew it,” John said.
That was last year and immediately he started working on making it a reality. He is in the process of getting assistance from the Small Business Bureau and John said that he is soon expected to pay off the surveying fee for the land he will be renting on the Soesdyke Highway.
“The Small Business Bureau is literally waiting on me; the bank is literally waiting on me to present my documentation,” he said.
John knows that he cannot do it alone and as such he already has two persons waiting to start the journey with him.
“I have two guys, they are going to share my dream and I would also be providing employment for them.”
And for John it would not be any “ordinary” farming; rather he would be looking at farming vegetables which would assist in alleviating cancer. “I am not going into any kind of ordinary farming… my mom died from cancer I have a lot of friends who died from cancer and a lot of people are suffering from cancer… I am going to be planting vegetable that are geared towards mitigating cancer,” he said.
While he is excited about his upcoming project John is not too keen about sharing a lot of information as he prefers to guard the details, he says, and keep them close to his heart.
The farming project is the third time John is attempting a big project, and he hopes that this time it comes to fruition and does not fall through as happened on the other two occasions all because he did not have the requisite funding.
The fall
Talking about his upcoming project helps John to take the focus off the fact that he may never walk again, even though he says he believes that he would.
“I think one day I am going to use my legs again, I am not giving up…” he said, with a somewhat distant expression on his face.
“I am a very determined person, I don’t give up easy and I don’t think I am the only… person with disability…there is a lot of dream and I still get dream that I would be on my feet again,” John said.
John said that he could remember that evening 27 years ago as if it were yesterday. He was sitting on the veranda rail – something he described as a habit – when he lost his balance and fell to the ground. “I fell, and when I regained consciousness I was in the hospital I think about a day or two after the fall,” John recalled.
When he fell John hit his head, but he also damaged his spinal cord and the first thing he realized when he regained consciousness was the fact that he felt nothing from his shoulders down.“The emotions stepped in immediately; it was confusing; I spent that entire afternoon trying to figure what really happened and it took quite a while before I really went back to sleep…” he recalled.
He remembered the doctor at the time telling him he would not be able to walk for a very long time, and that shattered him, and the first few days he was just going through the motions.
At that time John lived with his grandmother and sister and it was they who took him to the hospital where he remained for months. He remained in hospital for “nine, hard, painful” months and he remembered that because he was bedridden he suffered from bed sores and there was some pain in his back.
“There was also some very strange sensation in my lower body; it was like you shut your eyes and it was like my lower body was on fire. That was the only feeling I got in my lower body,” John said.
And 27 years later John still blames a nurse at the hospital for denying him the opportunity of maybe walking again. He recalled that he was being treated by a foreign doctor whom he said seemed not to understand when he explained to him that his knees were “feeling stiff and funny” and that he may need physiotherapy.
Out of desperation he approached another doctor whom he knew and the doctor wrote a note to his colleague but instead of passing the note to the doctor the staff nurse instead informed him that John had another doctor taking care of him. This was done after she had verbally abused John. “I later came to learn that she and the doctor [the one John approached] had a problem so I was like collateral damage, and up to this day I am still angry at her because I feel she denied me the opportunity.”
Because he was bedridden for nine months and his legs were not moved John said when valiant attempts were made to expose him to therapy all were futile because by then his legs refused to bend. The wheelchair had to have a special rest for his legs because they still cannot bend and John said this makes it more difficult for him.
And John said his fall happened “at a bad time” because at the time he was preparing to go off to work at sea and he felt that the sky was the limit for him. Being disabled meant that his life was no longer his as he had to place his every need in others’ hands, and that was worse than the fact that he could not walk.
Over the years John said that he managed to put himself through a lot of entrepreneurial training; he is also very good at information technology. In addition, he said he knows a lot about woodworking and some years ago had managed to get a grant from the Linden Economic Advancement Fund (LEAF) to start a business that would have seen him adding finishing touches to doors to make them more marketable.
“I had already secured an apartment and hired a man to work for me and I had a cubicle at the LEAF office when the apartment went up in flames…” John said. Owing to the fire John said he found it difficult to find somewhere else to live and in the end LEAF reversed the loan shattering his dreams of financial independence.
John lives alone in Buxton and said his siblings have supported him since the fall.
“It wasn’t easy, and at this stage here, especially where trying to form a relationship or getting engaged with a lady – it is not something I am fussy about,” John said, while adding that he is unable to support himself and as such would not be able to support a woman.
For John right now his farming project is the most important thing in in his life, and he will maintain his optimism about the future.
