Last week I wrote that the topic of euthanasia was now closed. I should have known better. More than any other previous theme, the columns pertaining to euthanasia in pets evoked (provoked?) more calls and more letters than any other topic with which we have dealt, since these columns began years ago. Most persons were supportive and described euthanasia as a “compassionate choice” and as “death with dignity.” One person hinted that I was advocating the murder of pets – notwithstanding the terminal nature of the ailment itself. Mostly, however, pet owners asked practical questions which I had not touched on, and for which I might not have satisfactory answers. The most common question had to do with the breaking of the news to children in the family.
Well, I had said in one of the columns that euthanasia should be a family decision. This would mean, if you think it necessary, including at least the older children.
I am sure that there are several approaches to the discussion about death. And I am no expert in giving advice of this nature, although (after almost 46 years of veterinary practice) I have been forced into this position on many, many occasions.
A ‘cop-out’ answer is that whatever you tell children really reflects that which you believe to be true. There can be no one explanation fitting every situation; no right way or wrong way to discuss death. Atheists might have it easier, since they don’t believe in a ‘soul’ or in any life after death. On the other hand, religionists who bombard children with the belief in this amorphous thing called soul, and heaven and hell, and God and the devil, paradise and eternal purgatory, well they are going to have a problem explaining if ‘Rover’ has gone into dog-heaven or dog-hell. You might think I am being facetious, and even that I am mocking believers. Not so. Everyone is entitled to live in his/her delusion. Consequently, my advice would be that whatever you believe to be the case, my opinion (and that shared by many of my colleagues) is that you must be direct with children and tell them the truth as you know it to be.
From a practical, technical standpoint, the truth is easy: The heart stopped beating and the animal ceased to breathe. ‘Rover’ was ill; we took him to the vet; the ailment could not be cured; the pet was in severe pain and distress; he succumbed/he was placed in a deep and peaceful sleep.
Of course, how much you tell the child and how much elaboration you provide will depend on the age and state of maturity of the child. Young children (below 6-7 years of age) tend not to ask too many questions. Give only simple explanations. More often than not, the first question a young child asks is “Can we get another puppy, please?”
I will not allow this column to engage itself in the polemics of religious doctrines as they are associated with an animal’s life/soul. For example, Hindus and Christians would have very principled and diverging opinions on the matter of euthanasia.
More rewarding for me (because I can better respond) is giving the answer to the second (practical) question raised after the articles on euthanasia: Will the other pets in the household grieve?
Well, I have no doubts that animals together in a household sense a loss/death. During my Africa days, it was not a singular occurrence to see elephants trying to resuscitate a dead member of the group. Animals understand death.
Of course, we can’t ask the surviving pets if they feel sadness at the loss of a companion in the home. I am not sure whether one can call their exhibition of disturbance at the death of a house mate ‘grieving,’ but vets and owners have too often witnessed symptoms that are very akin to mourning among animals, relative to a deceased member of the group. Such symptoms are:
- Some animals will pace the house or yard restlessly and be unable to settle.
- Some animals will search for the missing pet, hunting around the house and yard for days, looking for the absent animal.
- Some pets will become depressed and may be subdued for days to weeks (owners may think that the pets are sick).
- Some pets will call for the missing animal: barking or howling or yowling (cats) and waiting for the response.
- Some pets will whine and seem very sad.
- Some pets will go off their food.
I am now forced to deal (next week) with the treatment of the other animals in the household, which has just lost a pet. I know it is as if the euthanasia topic is never ending. It is generating interest, and it would be remiss of me not to address the emerging queries comprehensively. Bear with me.
