It is no secret that groups of elders in many societies are afflicted by a number of issues, such as health problems, financial woes and loneliness. Some are even seen as burdens to those who have the responsibility to care for them. Added to those issues, over the years in Guyana we have witnessed instances of violence against the elderly. The case of the woman who was suspected to be an ‘Ol Higue’ and was beaten to death some years ago on the East Coast of Demerara is one that still haunts and angers me. To take the life of any human being is a tragedy. In that case, those who participated in taking the life of that woman blurred the lines between our beliefs in our folklore, common sense and compassion.
We have seen other cases where the elderly would have been violated in the worst ways possible; rapes and robberies do not escape them. The recent case of the couple that was burned to death in Essequibo after a failed robbery attempt has brought to fore once again that in a society where cold and desperate men walk the streets, no one is safe.
And then there was the case of the couple that died by suicide a few weeks ago. Ill health and, ultimately, a feeling of hopelessness drove them to the point where the appeal of carrying on with life escaped them. Unfortunately, they could not find the courage and motivation they needed to wait until their lives would have expired naturally.
Occurrences such as the aforementioned, fortunately, do not capture the entire experience of the elderly in our society. Many lead comfortable lives and escape the misfortunes. Some of our best leaders, our educators, men and women of all professions, have laid the foundation for the youth to carry on great legacies. Some of the people who have had the greatest influence in my life, motivated me to do great things and made me believe in myself were elders.
I think about folks such as my maternal grandmother and my paternal grandfather, who both passed away in the early 2000s. My grandfather loved to laugh. He could take a grim story and make it into something hilarious. And his raucous laughter left an impression on you. Being an old headmaster, he placed emphasis on the value of education and some of the books that changed my life I acquired from him. When he passed at the age of 83, I was sad but there was also contentment that he lived a full life and I had many good memories I shared with him.
My grandmother, on the other hand, passed when she was only 56. She was not old, but being the teenaged girl I was at the time her years seemed to me beyond the age she was. When I think about all the times I got bellyfuls of laughter because of the way she recounted stories, I could only smile. She was one of the first people to motivate me in gaining confidence in myself when one day, out of the blue, she told me I was beautiful. At that time, dealing with the challenges of adolescence, I needed to hear that. And because she said it, I never stopped believing it. I will never stop missing her.
Brother Eusi Kwayana is another elder who made a great impression on my life. He was one of the lights in Buxton; an example for all. My teacher and my elder, he was the first person to make me believe in my ability to become a writer. Words cannot capture the great respect and love I have for him.
And there are many others who have made positive impacts on my life. As a theatre practitioner and writer, I have come across many people involved in the performing arts that have inspired and motivated me to keep trying even when the road ahead seems foggy. Brother Ras Michael Jeune, who made his transition only a few days ago, was one such person.
Our elders remind us that youth does not last forever. They remind us that the only beauty that really matters is the beauty that shines from within. Physically you will change, but a beautiful spirit is infinite. They remind us that time is not to be wasted and that as human beings we should make the best of our lives despite our circumstances.
Some of them remind us that human beings are prone to err and that perfection of man is a myth; it is how you transform the negative experiences in your life that can help determine your merit as a human being.
The faces of our elders tell many stories. There are the stories of contentment and peace with life. As one woman put it, recently, all that is left is “to enjoy me lil pension and wait fuh me maker.” Her words made me smile, for it indicated that she had no fear of death and that she was satisfied with her journey.
And then there are those whose faces tell stories of weariness. Moving slowly across a street or sitting somewhere on a pavement, catching a rest or seeking assistance, one often wonders what kind of life they would have had. The sick and feeble have often left me feeling a deep sense of sadness and I have often found myself thinking and would have even said it aloud a few times—getting old is a sin.
But such a thought is an emotional one, based on human fears and suffering. The fact is getting old is a privilege; especially in a time now where many of the young are dying. To have lived and battled through the best and worst of times, to have laid the foundation so the future generations could have a world to look forward to and establishments that they could benefit from, is an honour. And that is why it should disturb the masses when we see the suffering of the old, such as those stories in the news about elders being killed or mistreated. Our society is like a tree and the elders are our roots and if we disregard the value of our roots, the tree will in time collapse.
Today, in Guyana, we have seen enough suffering of our elders. There have been enough headlines about cruelty against them. We must take it upon ourselves to look out for our elders; to first care for those who are a part of our families and to take every opportunity we can to learn from them. And then our care must extend to the community. We must assist elders who sometimes just want to know that someone cares.
Our leaders who are elders must prioritise setting an example for the youth who are looking to them for guidance. The young, middle-aged and old are bound to exist together and if there is cohesion, respect and value for all regardless of age, our society can only become a better place.
