Dear Editor,
October was the official Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and rightly speaking the signs as well as the victims of domestic abuse were all highlighted. It was a period of reflection as we were once again sadly reminded of the all too familiar manner in which spouses and consorts settle their romantic differences in present-day Guyana. Strikingly absent from the picture were the battered men. If the intended objective of Domestic Violence Awareness Month is to bring public attention to the cause at hand, then it should not be reduced to a single gender. So often, if not in every case, women are highlighted as the victims, which clearly give one sex the edge over the other.
Such action could be interpreted as being indicative of gender bias. Needless to say as we continue to dissect this social phenomenon, we must confront the realization that the topic is not only about women and children. The battered men have been omitted and their voice muffled in the media.
There are far too many battered men who fail to speak out, because the stigma of being a man and a victim is in sharp contradiction to the public’s notion of masculinity. Then there is the fear of not being believed, of having to explain themselves to friends and family, of lack of support from loved ones which all work towards forcing the issue farther and farther away from the public consciousness.
Do not for a second labour under the misapprehension that I am diminishing the predicament of women who have suffered domestic violence. No way. However, during the month of Domestic Violence Awareness and thereafter, we must realize that both men and women are human beings, and that the safety of one individual in the home should never be esteemed over that of another. We have long dwelt in a society where men are viewed as the epitome of strength and masculinity, and are considered to be less than a man if they take a beating from a woman.
I once witnessed an incident where in the heat of an argument, the woman involved threw a few punches in the face of the male with whom she was arguing.
It was apparent that she did not see him as a victim because he was a man. She was also seemingly bolstered by the fact that if he dared to defend himself in like manner, the police would arrest him, regardless of the fact that she fired the first salvo. The common and accepted rule of thinking is that the law is on the woman’s side no matter what.
It is imperative that a clear message be sent that domestic violence is genderless and not a female specific issue and that the celebration of Domestic Awareness Month, is not just about conceding the issue, but also about advancing the probability of conquering it. No longer must domestic violence against men disappear under the radar.
Let us now come forward with renewed sensitivity, viewing the other face of domestic violence and abuse through a clearer lens. The assumption that domestic violence is abuse enacted primarily by men, against women has even guided policies. Even if the numbers prove that women fall victim more often, it does not negate the fact that the victimization of men is just as damaging. The efforts to end domestic violence must be endless for the issue is genderless. Remember we must also teach our youth the truth regarding how to appropriately deal with any female. There is no excuse for domestic abuse.
Yours faithfully,
Yvonne Sam
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