“Raising a girl child is not easy I tell you. Is like sometimes you wish they would be the same little baby girl because when they turn teenager is another ball game,” the frank words of a mother of a teenage daughter, who according to her has been giving her the “time of my life.”
Now in her early thirties, the mother and believes she was not ready for children at the time she became pregnant. A single mother of one, she is happy that she does not have more children.
“I know people will say the same thing about boy children but I would not know that because I don’t have a boy child. But is as if I am trying everything and nothing not working. The girl just bent in her ways,” the mother said.
“When I get pregnant I didn’t really ready but it happen and I say I keeping the baby. The father didn’t want the baby but I said I not doing abortion and so I make my baby and even though we had some bad days I try to provide for her,” the woman said as she watched her teenager conversing with some children in the distance.
“I know you wondering why I telling you this, but is like sometimes you just want to talk and sometimes I really does get some bad days and is like nobody there to help,” the woman said; she had struck up a conversation with this writer at a fun park.
“When she was small is like everything going good but when she start getting big I don’t know is like she just change. She done looking big for she age and then the boys coming around and is like she just enjoying the attention.
“And then she just rude and like I can’t talk to she and sometimes I just got to pray to God and ask he to help me because I does feel so helpless at times,” she paused.
“You are saying you were not ready for motherhood and that might be the problem?” questioned this writer.
“Sometimes I believe so. Because, you know, what real example I had? I don’t think my mother, no, I know my mother was not the best mother but that is another story. What I know I didn’t give me mother too much trouble.
“And then I say to myself how I prepare myself for this child, what I did know about motherhood? That is what I does be asking me self sometimes,” she said, lowering her voice as her daughter approached her.
The child requested something and departed.
“You know now I does look at TV and so and I see how people does read books and so on about parenting and I didn’t do all them thing. Is like I learning on the job,” she continued as soon as the child was beyond earshot. “And I does ask myself what I really know about being a parent and maybe is because of that I does get a problem…”
We had struck up a conversation because we were the ones who stayed at our respective tables while the groups we had visited the fun park with went off to have a swim or indulge in some other form of fun. The conversation started casually and then gradually moved into the realm of parenting.
“I don’t find parenting easy either. I don’t think read enough about it and sometimes I don’t think I was well prepared for children,” I said at this point.
“I know what you mean. But why is it my daughter have to give me so much problems?” she said without elaborating.
She remained silent for a while, then continued as if she never stopped.
“Sometimes I does ask me self if it is me and then at other times I does blame she. But I am a praying woman and I praying for me child and for me too. And when I think I get it bad sometimes my friends does get it worse.
“All I want for my daughter is fuh she grow up and be something in life. I does work hard to mind she and I just want she to do well in school and be somebody,” the woman said.
Maybe sensing that her mother was talking about her, the teen returned to the table, took a seat next to her mother but said nothing. That part of the conversation was over.
“But I am happy I meet you we need to talk some more, maybe we could meet up to talk some more,” the mother said.
As she spoke, her daughter looked with interest at both if us, but still said nothing.
I agreed that we should, but even as I did so, members of both our groups approached our respective tables and attacked the bags.
We did not have another minute alone for the remainder of the day and no numbers were exchanged so meeting again does not appear to be possible.
