Dear Editor,
I write in response to Ms Rohana Carryl’s letter ‘Where to pursue higher education should be the daughter’s choice’ published in the Stabroek News of December 19th.
Ms Carryl’s letter was so moving, touching and compelling that l decided to respond to her. I should like to begin by saying that I wish at 25 years old, I was as astute, wise and had the wisdom, knowledge and fortitude as Ms Carryl.
If Ms Carryl was my daughter, I may have been willing to send her to Yale University because she demonstrated an amazing, unique and rare sign of maturity and strength for a 25-year-old. This young lady is on her way to greatness. She’s one of a kind and the tip of the spear. I highly recommend that you hire her to work for you.
With that said Editor, Ms Carryl wasn’t the only one to criticise my letter (I will not send my daughter to Yale University – SN 16/12/18); I got 101 criticisms, but of the 101 criticisms, Ms Carryl’s criticism was the most courteous and compassionate.
Editor, I wasn’t surprised by the public criticism of my letter, given the volatile, unfortunate and anti-parenting times we are living in.
Most of the criticisms were personal attacks; some people accused me of writing the letter to get attention and to show off, and some even accused you, Editor, of throwing me under the bus because you published the letter.
Editor, I have learnt a very important lesson from the criticisms, which is that the general public is not open to different opinions. But I thank you so much for your openness to different opinions. Despite the criticisms, I thank you for publishing the letter.
However, Editor, what was surprising to me was the number of people in the diaspora that criticised the letter. I was surprised by how closed-minded these people are. They accused me of being closed-minded but are unwilling and unable to see their own closed-mindedness.
Editor, I’ve been criticised my whole life for being and thinking different, and for viewing the world differently from others. Growing up on the wrong side of the railroad tracks, dropping out of high school, graduating from a very conservative religious university, being one of a few minorities in my career field in the U. S. Armed Forces, being a combat wounded veteran; this has caused me to be different and to view the world differently from most people.
My life experiences have given me a different worldview on life, liberty, higher education, politics, religion, family values and raising children.
Growing up without any parental guidance, I was going down a path of darkness. But when I was 20 years old, I met Pat Williams, and she became my mentor. She made me go back to school to get my high school diploma.
Pat Williams was a hard-nosed disciplinarian, an army drill sergeant. Today, many people would say that she was harsh, cruel and controlling but not me. I would say that she was firm, loving, caring and compassionate, and she saved my life.
Having been raised without any discipline, having no sense of direction and going down a path that leads to darkness and prison, I needed to be led by a disciplinarian like Pat. She helped me to graduate high school, earn a bachelor and master’s degrees, serve honourably in the military, and complete three tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.
In short, Pat’s controlling ways and harsh words are what helped me to become a good parent and enable me to send four out of five of my children to university, and three out of five into the military.
So for those people who criticised me for not sending my daughter to Yale and accused me of being controlling, I would say to you, it was a controlling person (Pat) who saved my life and helped me to become successful. Nothing is wrong with controlling your mentee or your teenage children if it’ll lead to their success.
If Pat was alive, she would definitely recommend that I send my daughter to Liberty University and not Yale. Therefore, I must listen to Pat and not the critics in making parental decisions regarding my child.
Editor, I would never tell any parent which school is best for their children unless asked. Most parents, not all, know what is the best school for their children’s education and development because they know their children better than me.
Yours faithfully,
Anthony Pantlitz
