“I am so scared, but I know I have to find out what is wrong. But then if it is that I don’t know how I am going to deal with it. I am seeing the signs and symptoms, they are there but I don’t know…,” she said, with a pained expression.
“I have to find out because if it is that then I have to think about my children. I have to think about the treatment and taking care of them. It is really scary.”
For a moment, I thought she was going to burst into tears; she didn’t but the pain she felt was evident.
I was sitting on a bench when she came and sat next to me, angling her body in my direction; I knew she wanted to speak. We were both at the doctor’s office and as I surveyed the other patients she stood out. There was this pensive look about her. However, by then I was somewhat frustrated because the doctor had been called away and I was hours into my waiting. So, while I noticed her I did not reach out. It was when I left the building in a bid to get some fresh air that she approached me.
“So, you are here to see the doctor?” I asked the obvious question in a conversational tone. “And I know like me you want to leave because of the wait,” I added.
She nodded. “But I have to wait because I put off this thing long enough I have to find out what is wrong with me,” she answered.
“Oh, so you are not just here for a check-up?” I asked.
“No, I have all the symptoms you know, and I just need to know…,” she said.
She did not say, but I just knew she was talking about cervical cancer and when I asked she nodded yes.
“It is the irregular bleeding and then I lost weight. I know something is wrong. I have this pain at my side and a back pain. Sometimes when I am sweeping the back pain is so much, I have to take my time and raise up if I bend over to sweep,” she told me.
“I read up on the symptoms you know and so I am afraid because all of that is symptoms and lately, I start getting this fever and sweating in the nights and so when I wake up is like I did not sleep at all,” she continued.
I saw how scared she was, and I told her that maybe she was imagining the symptoms as it happens sometimes. I also told her the weight loss could be as a result of her worrying and not eating enough because of the stress.
She did not seem convinced and shook her head vigorously as I spoke.
She was alone and I enquired why she did not allow someone to accompany her.
“No, I want to come and find out for myself,” she answered. “And my husband, I don’t think he really understands. Well at least I don’t know how to really explain to him, so I just prefer to come by myself.
“I know something is wrong. I would see my period for four days now I am seeing it for about two weeks.”
I asked her how long that has been happening and she said two months, but I felt it might have been longer.
“My aunt told me to find out what is wrong so we can deal with it because it makes no sense I just sit and wonder, but I was scared. But now I come, I take time off from work and come because it getting worse,” she continued.
“And then my mother told me that I had an aunt who was my age when she find out she get cervical cancer and she died four years ago,” she said quietly.
“You know, I get my last child four years ago and I had good size all the time. I was plump and look good in my clothes. I didn’t use to wear this size of jeans. And my face, you know, use to look round and nice,” she continued.
I told her she was still beautiful as ever and she smiled.
“That is what my mom tells me she tells me how I am still her beautiful baby, but I don’t see it. All I see is me getting fine. And you know when people see me, they would comment on how thin I get and it would really get to me and make me feel bad. It is not like I was ever really fat or anything, but they would say things like ‘you had more size than that’,” she said.
I knew exactly how she felt. Being thin for all of my life with a little fluctuation here and there, I knew how it felt when someone commented on how thin I looked. And it is always a woman, at least for me. I have never had a man comment on how thin I had gotten.
When I asked her who made the comments about her size, she said it has always been a woman.
Ladies, it is not right, and I would label it downright rude to comment on how thin or fat a sister has gotten when you see them. Don’t you think they know that they have gotten fat or thin and may be struggling to deal with it and you commenting on it just makes it worse? Well in case you didn’t then let me just enlighten you. It does not make a sister feel good, so please don’t do it.
We sat in silence for a while.
“I have to see the doctor today, so I not moving but I wish she would come back just now,” she broke the silence.
Before I could have answered, the doctor returned and we both went back to the waiting area. I was ahead of her so we parted ways when my name was called. Before I left, I briefly sat next to her and wished her all the best, gave her a hug and quickly exited the building.
I have not stopped thinking of her and I pray that everything was okay because I know how worried she was.
I am always scared when I visit the doctor’s office; it is one place I approach with trepidation and that day was no different but after speaking to her my thoughts were on her as I really got how scared she was, and she had good reason to be too.
January is designated cervical cancer awareness month and ladies it is a good time to have a pap smear test or Visual Inspection with Acetic Acid (VIA) done.
You can contact the Cancer Institute of Guyana on 225-5701 or 225-5703 and make an appointment. It is an easy procedure and it is one that is recommended for all women.
You can also have a VIA done free of cost at the VIA clinic located in the compound of the Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation. There are also 14 VIA clinics located around Guyana and those in other regions can check the regional hospitals for further information.
The VIA procedure is simple. The health care provider simply swabs vinegar, that is acetic acid, on the cervix and looks for areas that change colour. Normal cervical tissue remains unaffected by the acetic acid, but damaged tissue – such as that found in pre-cancerous or cancerous lesions – turns white. The provider can then remove the damaged tissue on the spot or perform a biopsy for further follow-up.
Those of you who might need support to go through this procedure can contact Bibi Hassan of the Guyana Cancer Foundation on 618-2085. She will be willing to assist you.
The foundation recently started a cancer survivors’ group, and so if there is anyone who needs support, please contact Hassan.
For World Cancer Day, the foundation will be having a candlelight vigil in collaboration with Union for International Cancer Control of Geneva on Monday February 4, at its location Lot 9 Third Avenue and Sheriff Street, Subryanville from 6.30 pm in honour of cancer survivors.
