I can’t believe April is already here. In this particular quarter you may have already started to receive wedding invitations for August/summer weddings, worry about the expense they will put you in (because even as a guest weddings are expensive), have a good solid fight with your partner to determine who should be there and who shouldn’t etc.
I haven’t attended a wedding in years, the last wedding my husband and I had planned to attend, the bride contracted chicken pox a few days before. I have memories of the ones I was obligated to attend as a child, and I remember them being filled with such detail even as a guest. Well, not directly for me, but for my mother who had to organize the outfits, gifts and the whole nine yards involved celebrating people’s love.
My experience as a bride and having been married for just a bit, I realize how many things are trivial when I look back. So, here are a few timely reminders for the guests and bride and groom.
As a bride, I wasn’t concerned what my guests were wearing. I didn’t care. My friend who signed on my behalf was so particular to wear something that would please me, but, honestly, I was just glad she was there for my special day and it was she who made all the effort to be there. Culturally I understand weddings are seen as very auspicious occasions and they are, but as a bride I really didn’t care, and I suppose most brides don’t since they are basically enjoying one of the biggest days of their lives.
This brings me to my second point: the bridal party and the guest list. I felt every possible emotion on my wedding day. I wasn’t overwhelmed by anything. No family politics, no seating arrangements or squabbles. This had nothing to do with the size of the wedding. The point is to invite the people who make you happy and who are truly happy for you. If you don’t want to invite your aunt who is always gossiping about you then don’t. A wedding isn’t a family reunion, it is your special day. So, bride and groom, if you are reading this, comb through that wedding list carefully and try to think if the people you invite will sustain a relationship with you through your marriage; that really helps.
Décor and wedding-related items are really important, but so is following your own taste. It is so easy to get sucked into everything going on with so much being pushed in your face that promises you the perfection on your big day. The idea of perfection is so screwed up. Perfection on your big day is what you like, not what people tell you to like. If you want to spend all your money on a carriage, a dress, a hat, and food, then do it because in years to come it will reflect your genuine taste.
While it is commonly preached that a marriage is more important that the wedding day itself, I feel that it sells this fake notion that it is the not only special day you will get and that it is not that important. While I agree to an extent with the former, it doesn’t change the fact that it is indeed a special day. However, I believe what needs to be changed is how we celebrate the progression of the marriage in years to come. Vow renewals should really become the new thing.
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