“University of Guyana (had a guy on a motorcycle follow me at night from all the way… [from] by Bursary to the parking lot shining a light on my ass and commenting on the things he’d do if he had access to my ass), had cases of walking on the road and had guys following me for almost my entire journey. Had one instance where I had to step into Republic Bank on New Market street and wait a while cuz a guy started getting aggressive cuz I wasn’t responding to his questions and started pulling on my hands and putting his hands in my face). Too many to mention.”
That was a comment by a Facebook friend of poet Renata Burnette detailing instances where she was sexually harassed in public.
Last week Sunday the poet, radio host and activist updated her status asking her friends to state the places where they are afraid to go because they were sexually harassed.
The responses were profound yet shocking, even to me and others who experienced their fair share of sexual harassment in public because I don’t think at times, we understand that the same thing is happening to our sisters.
I understand why some persons do not take public transportation or have their daughters walk alone on the streets because some men are like vultures, seeking to strip young girls of their dignity and at times even violating them by touching them. Many of the responses to Burnette’s Facebook post spoke about touching.
The status has been re-posted by many on my timeline, some expressing their shock and horror over some of the responses given and even giving their own experiences.
I reached out to Burnette and she readily agreed for me to use the post and responses for this week’s column. I believe it is a good follow-up to last week’s column that dealt with a mother who was afraid for her daughter being preyed upon by an adult man who said he wanted her (the mother) to be his mother-in-law.
That is how it starts, and I am sure many young women can list the times and places where even though they were in school uniform they had some of vilest and meanest things said to them by adult men.
Burnette’s status read: “Comment the name of the place/street/village that you’re afraid to go cause the last time you got sexually harassed. Den #rapeculture a wan see something.”
I am sure even though she wanted to ‘see something’ she was not prepared for the over 100 comments from young girls and older women detailing their horrid experiences with men on the street.
There was this one guy who stated that a group of girls approached him at the UG car park, told him that he was a ‘nice darkie’ and that they needed his number; he did #rapeculture. While I don’t want to make light of his experience, nowhere did he state that the girls told him in the vilest terms what they wanted to do with him or his sexual organ.
Because I did not get permission from those who commented, I am using the comments minus the names of those who were brave enough to do so. I say brave enough because I am sure there were many other women who had similar experiences or worse but are just too ashamed to say. Men do not understand that their mere words can make us feel dirty.
“Front Road bus park. Two times I was touched, one on my breast. Berbice car park. A tout from there stalked me and followed me home…,” one young woman commented.
Burnette herself shared: “East coast park… a guy that sells clothes by the lotto van. Harassed me almost every time he saw me, said ‘yah getting fat is who yah f…ing…I wan some a dah…’
A 6’4 man on the Berbice Park who said, ‘I bet u down deh prapa… give meh a chance fah find out nah’ while tryna grab my hands as I walked away.
“A random guy in a bus that kept asking me questions… seemed like he had a few beers that night… wen the bus reached the park he tried to kiss me (he did) cause I froze in disbelief.
“A guy that followed me in his car for three corners straight… told me I shud get in so he can take me somewhere nice. I had to pretend to call me ‘uncle’ to tell him I am around the corner. Den he drove off. #rapeculture”
“Anywhere where there’s a man or group of men present… Can’t even go to the store across from my house without someone [harassing me] I’ve been followed through the parking lot to my car before and grabbed after being followed through the store.
“In the day and at night… even [at] my f…ing job cause some guy thought it would be cool to stick his tongue in my ear,” another woman said.
Here is another chilling account: “Kitty men literally walk behind me and recite their numbers. Not only that when some say good morning and I don’t reply they catch attitudes and call me rude when I do give them a smart ass comment they wanna come up to my face as if me verbally defending myself is wrong and gives them the right to say whatever else they wanna. One even tried to hit me because I asked him if he told his mother good morning as yet.
“EDIT: I don’t even know how I forgot this one. My final year in high school I went to a copy shop to print off my SBA and a man with dreadlocks came in the shop and stood right beside me at the counter. I felt him come near me and I moved down a little then I felt him graze against me again when I looked over the man and literally dry humping my side. I ran out the shop. Later in the afternoon when I was walking home the same man grabbed my hand again. I remember I was walking with a friend that lived through Leopold Street and I snatched my hand and we both walked quickly to where she was living.”
“The bus park. Once when I was in high school, I was sitting by a window seat waiting on the bus to full when a school boy passed and grabbed my breast. Another time while making my way to school, a big man on the park saw me passing and shout out, ‘eh gyal you’d mek a good whore ya know.’ It’s honestly impossible to walk through that park without being harassed by men. “Another place I’ve become afraid of is the corner of Robb and Wellington streets where the rasta man does sell plantain chips. Went there one day to buy plantain chips and while waiting to be sold a youth pon a bicycle rode pass and grabbed my ass. I went back to the office crying that day cause I felt extremely helpless and violated. #rapeculture,” another shared.
One of the more shocking experiences came from this woman: “1. I was in a 42 bus and I was wearing a dress and this guy literally forced his hands between my lower thighs and tried advancing upwards. The bus was jam packed and was playing loud music but I still made my attempts at screaming and the man sitting next to him said, ‘take the lil finger f..k’. When the bus stopped, I forced my way out the bus even though the guy made efforts to keep me there.
“2. I was walking through my street… when this other guy that was advancing towards me was reaching out to me as if he knew me so I stopped to see if I did know him. Realising I didn’t know him I told him wrong person but instead of just going he grabbed onto [my] arms and tried to kiss me and grabbed my butt and ran away.”
Some men on the thread were horrified by the comments. One posted: “These comments make me as a man see why women distrust us when you say good morning being polite as is my norm. Society for us is broken and as a father of a young lady I will not stand idly by and watch as young women are verbally abused.”
And as some already know being pregnant does not absolve you from the harassment as stated by this woman: “I sadly learnt to ignore it by now, or just give them a stinky eye… Even when I was visibly pregnant, men will harass me [sweating emoji] Countless ‘godfathers’, ‘baby daddies’, even asking me/telling me how my vagina was for sure big and ‘spicy’ now [face palm emoji] of course not with those words… what’s most concerning to me is that they see it as ‘normal’ and even ‘cool’ to disrespect a woman like that.”
Another man had a suggestion, even though it was unrealistic: “Ladies I’m very sorry for these daily experience you’ll have to deal with, my advice to you is to get a police [officer], your brother, your cousin, an uncle or even your father and let them walk behind you for a few days to put this harassment to a stop. I’m really disgust with some of the nasty compliments that is being thrown at you. You’ve got to do something very quick b4 things reach to another level and you haven’t seek help or make a report. That’s my take.”
Another made this very angry comment: “Some men should have never been born. Waste of good oxygen. Should have been aborted. So sorry to hear this.”
My first experience with harassment was in secondary school when a male teacher told me I had ‘kissable lips’ that were the ‘sweetest thing on me’. The comment was made in front of male students who all laughed and from time to time would repeat similar comments.
Over the years, I have had countless experiences on the streets and even in offices. As I am older now, I would hear from young men ‘You is a nice big woman’ and they would tell me all the things they want to do to this ‘big woman’.
The streets are a danger zone for women who not only have to be afraid of being robbed but will more likely than not face sexual harassment sometimes on a daily basis.
In 2015, local arts-based group, the Witness Project had launched a huge project aimed bringing awareness to street harassment. This, as well as sexual harassment overall is a conversation that still needs serious addressing and there should be legislative intervention to stop men from objectifying and violating women on the streets.
