We have all lost someone at some point in our lives, whether they were a close relative or distant friend. A death is never easy.
We grow up knowing that death is inevitable and as much as we may try to brace ourselves for its “arrival,” we are never truly prepared; the simple truth is that we are emotional creatures and it hurts when a loved one has gone to sleep forever.
One can look at death from many different perspectives and perhaps these might serve in helping to cope with the loss of a beloved person. Whether we choose to look at death from a scientific, religious or philosophical perspective, the one thing we can all agree on is that life is a spectrum and just as there is a beginning, there must also be an end.
Scientists would have us believe that when we die, we simply cease to be and that we lose consciousness the moment our brain stops to function. Religion, on the other hand, suggests that there might be life after death, with whether we go to heaven, live on an earthly paradise or are simply reincarnated depending on the way we live our lives while on earth.
Perhaps there is a reason why death is sudden and unexpected. Even those who have terminal illnesses and know that death is upon them don’t know the exact day or time that they will pass on. Maybe if we knew the exact day and time of our death, we would never truly learn how to live. Maybe God or the Universe or whatever Supreme power we believe in wanted it to be this way, so that we could live life to the fullest or with a purpose as it doesn’t matter how long a life a person lives but how purposeful their life is.
However, it shouldn’t matter what our individual beliefs are about death; what should matter is that we rely on something that helps us cope and gives us hope.
We don’t often live the way we should and we wait until death is among us and then we are filled with regrets. But instead of lamenting what we could have done differently, we should strive to improve our way of life and specifically the way we treat with our loved ones while they are still alive. We can start by doing the following:
Live life the right way: We should live by the golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Live a responsible and moral life. Be kind to others and take nothing for granted because tomorrow isn’t promised.
Find a spiritual connection: Millions of people around the world have noted that having a spiritual connection is something that gives them hope. Whether it’s believing in an afterlife or simply building a close relationship to a Supreme being, whatever keeps you at peace is what matters.
Spend more time with loved ones while they are still around: We should make time for the people we care about. Plan a get together with the people closest to you. Call your close friends and family frequently and let them know how much they mean to you.
And once death does “arrive,” there are also things we can do to manage our feelings of loss:
Take comfort in memorabilia: When we lose a loved one, it’s normal to want to hold on to whatever reminds us of them; whether it’s a photograph or an old T-shirt, we are comforted by knowing that we still have something around to remind us of them.
Actively remember your loved ones: Even though they are gone physically, you can still talk to your loved ones in prayer or by writing them a note and placing it into a bottle and throwing it into the sea or putting a message into a balloon and releasing it into the sky. Remember them on their birthdays or on special occasions.
Talk to someone: Death is never easy and sometimes we have to learn how to cope by seeking the help of a professional grief counsellor. They will help you find the most effective ways of managing your grief.
We have to accept that death is a part of life and grieving for a lost loved one is to be expected. Some of us will deal with death differently. In fact, there is no telling how long it will take someone to get over a loved one’s death. While some of us may be okay in months, it may take others years and that’s alright. With emotional and spiritual support and the right coping mechanisms, we will eventually “let go.”