As a 29-year-old woman, I still find it difficult to speak about doing what is best for my body and myself. This is because growing up, any discussion surrounding sex and by extension sexual and reproductive health was avoided. And as I write this, there is some amount of ambivalence that has to do with the learnt behaviour of shame at openly addressing such topics.
Everything I learnt about sex and sexual and reproductive health, I learnt from the TV, personal relationships and carefully constructed conversations with my late Godmother who was a nurse, though I was sometimes ashamed to ask her.
I grew up in a society where girls were not allowed to talk about sex. If they did, it was automatically presumed that they were promiscuous. Very few adults saw talking about it as equipping their children with the knowledge to make the decisions that would help them later in life, or whenever they should need it.
Some of this stemmed from religious beliefs, some from the patriarchal framework in which we existed, whereby men got to run around and do as they pleased sexually, while women were taught to carefully try to make themselves the most ideal candidate for society.
About 6 to 8 months ago, I decided to visit a gynaecologist to discuss having an intrauterine device (IUD) implanted. I was very particular in what I wanted because I felt the other methods weren’t suitable for my personality. I felt as if the IUD removed as much human error as possible.
This is another touchy subject that was seen as taboo for discussion between married people without children. To some extent, family planning is still a foreign topic and women are often made to feel as if having a child is the natural course for everyone who has been together for a lengthy period. Women are even made to feel as if we are lying when we say we aren’t ready for children or aren’t even clear if motherhood is for us.
I never got my IUD because, according to my doctor, it’s a form of contraception mostly for women who have already had a child. Instead, I got a NuvaRing, which still baffles me and now sits in my wardrobe collecting dust.
I have always been a naturally curious person. My Godmother used to say that I asked so many questions growing up and I always probed her because I always knew when she was censoring the answer. I am aware that if I didn’t have her, despite the occasional bias in her answers, and thankfully the exposure to the right types of media, I could have made some poorly informed decisions.
Access to knowledge is one of the most important things anyone could have and in particular girls, as it helps them to better shape their own destiny. Nowadays there is a sense that more parents are having these conversations with their children, which is a good thing. There is also greater access to fair and guilt-free services that will help both young men and women to solidify their choices. http://instagram.com/theonlinerunway
