In June 2010, 25-year-old Mary Sandy was leaving the Providence Primary, where she had taken her young son to school, when she was struck and killed by a car while attempting to cross the road.
She left behind four sons: Andre, Tyrone, Anthony and a two-month-old baby known at the time as Andrew. At the time of her death the young mother had lived under deplorable conditions with her husband and children in a shack at Providence. There were also reports back then that she had endured domestic abuse and was forced to raise the children on her own. The husband, Mohan Geer, described their circumstances as “difficult” in an interview with this newspaper after her death.
Their circumstances led to the children being removed from Geer’s care and made wardens of the state. Eventually, the baby was adopted, and while his brothers remained in the state’s care, they spent holidays at the home of their brother’s new family.
A recent letter writer to this newspaper reported that the three boys had been returned to the care of their father and were living under terrible circumstances. “[T]wo of them have dropped out of school,” the letter writer noted, while asking this newspaper to investigate where the children are today and also questioning what happened to the money that was raised on behalf of the children nine years ago.
When contacted, Director of the Childcare and Protection Agency Ann Greene confirmed that the children were indeed returned to their father for a few months.
The eldest brother recently aged out of the system and was living with an aunt and he is now working, but the father visited the agency and indicated that he had changed his life and wanted to have his two other sons in his home.
She said that the boys had been in the system “for too long” and the agency felt that a home with their father, who had a new partner and was working, might have been better. “We investigated. Yes, he was living at the place and he had a wife… so we [sent] the children… to see how it will work,” Greene told this newspaper.
However, it was too good to be true as shortly after the agency received reports that the children were not being properly cared for by their father and were not being sent to school. “When we visited, he was back to drinking and he and his wife had a problem and she moved out and we took back the children,” Greene said.
The two boys were removed from that situation, but they were not keen on returning to state care, and the agency also did not favour that solution. While their oldest brother wanted them to stay with him and his aunt, the boys opted to be fostered by their youngest brother’s adoptive parents. “The boys wanted to go with [name of the foster mother] because they were attached to her and in the end, decisions have to be made in the best interest of a child… They may not find favour with people, but it is the best for the children,” Greene said.
The home they are in now, according to Greene, is a better arrangement and it is where they wanted to go. She said they spent too long in institutions and for them to be returned would not have been in their best interest.
‘Just couldn’t say no’
Meanwhile, the foster mother of the boys, who spoke to this newspaper, said while it was difficult as she had not catered for two more children, she could not have let them return to an institution.
The woman preferred not to have her name published, as, according to her, the youngest brother does not know he is adopted, and she is not keen on him finding out that way.
“I will eventually tell him, but not now. We tell him the boys are his brothers, but he has never asked how they are his brothers,” the woman said, while adding that her son may be on the autism spectrum and although he is 10 years old, he has the intelligence quotient (IQ) of a younger child.
At the time of the interview (July 25), the boys had been with her for about three weeks. She had maintained contact with them over the years.
“Because of him [her son], I maintained contact with them. When it was his first birthday, I took him to meet his siblings. Since then, they have been a part of the family. They come for holidays and family occasions,” she said.
The eldest boy lived with her for a few months after he left the state’s care and she said he was the one who expressed the need to find his father as he wanted to know him. She said after the boys were taken into care the father had not visited them, but the young man wanted to know him.
“I made queries and was able to find him. I found him on a farm and told him the boys wanted to meet him. He was excited, said he wanted to meet them too,” she disclosed.
“I was not convinced that he had changed, but I said maybe he would have been able to add something positive into the boys’ lives. They met with him and I allowed him to visit them as well,” she continued.
It was during this process that the eldest brother said he wanted to go and live with his father, after which they visited the Childcare and Protection Agency and asked for the younger boys and the father was granted temporary custody.
It was not a situation the foster mother was happy with and even though the agency had invited her to a meeting with the family, she did not attend, “because I know I would have been emotional to see them go,” she said.
“Even though I was not happy, I wanted to give them a chance. They kept sending messages through Facebook and said they wanted to see me, but I did not respond. Eventually, they convinced the big brother to bring them and they said they did not want to go back.”
The boys told her their father was abusive and that he still drank, but the woman said she still wanted to give it a try since she felt they might have had some difficulty adjusting. But eventually a complaint was made to the agency, the children were removed, and she was called to have a meeting with the boys.
At that meeting, the children told their aunt and brother that they preferred to live with her than them and at that point, the woman said, she was unable to say no.
“To be honest, I wasn’t prepared to add two new members to my family. But how do you say no to children who would have been through so much in life? That’s how they ended up with me. I just couldn’t say no,” she said with a smile.
Withdrawn
In the weeks they have been with her, the foster
mother said, the boys have been withdrawn but they are comfortable. It is possible that they just want to ensure that they will remain with her and are not there for a temporary stay as in the past.
The adjustment has not been smooth as she noted that accommodation was a challenge and while it is not the best that she wants, “it is something that we have to work out”.
As regards the children’s immediate future, the woman said the older of the two is not academically inclined and has expressed a wish to attend the Burrowes School of Art, but because of his age he has to wait another year. In the meantime, she is making arrangements for him to be involved in computer graphics.
“He is ambitious. He said he does not want to grow up and work in a supermarket, he wants to do something more and I want to help him,” she said.
She revealed that for the few months he was with his father, he was made to work in a supermarket. She believes it was traumatic for him and that is why he has made it clear that it is not a job he wants to do.
“It was as if the father wanted them to work and bring in money. He was not prepared to be a father to them and help them,” the woman said.
The younger of the two has shown some progress in school and she wants to help him to complete his schooling.
She said the boys have “turned my life upside down” and their presence in her home has put a strain on her budget, but she is going to try. She revealed that while she always loved the boys, she never asked for them because she could not afford to give them the same quality of life as her son and she did not want them to feel “different”.
“I intend to see them become law-abiding citizens who could contribute meaningfully to society and make something of their lives,” she said when asked if she was in the arrangement for the long haul.
Right now, they are comfortable, and she is able to provide them with food, but she said clothing and transportation for schooling might be a struggle; so far, she has refused to take assistance from the Childcare Agency.
She also said that there is some animosity between them and their eldest brother, who is still upset that they chose to live with her and not him, but she hopes this will be ironed out soon.
She does not regret making little Andrew her own and while she initially wanted a girl when she approached the agency to adopt, he is all she needed. She and her husband already had a daughter, who was an adult at the time they adopted Andrew.
