Disturbing stories are so common that often they are the focus for a day or two and then we wait for the next manifestation of the mental illness that permeates our society.
A video of a mother assaulting her teenaged daughter surfaced this week on social media. A man assisted in restraining the young woman, while the mother verbally abused her and physically assaulted her with a piece of wood. The mother accused her daughter of being sexually active, which the young woman denied. At one point the man threw the child to the ground for the mother to continue the beating. A woman was heard taunting the child, encouraging the mother and said that she would upload the video to social media. Once again, the social media exhibitionist spirit was displayed. What do we call adults who are proud to upload videos of children being assaulted as a way of shaming them? I refuse to believe that they are educated or even possess common sense. Based on the evidence many can be considered degenerates. But perhaps they too had experiences of surviving a cycle of trauma which eliminated any compassion in them.
The young lady said that she would kill herself and the mother encouraged her. With the prevalence of suicide in Guyana, how any parent, angry or not, could encourage their child to become a part of the epidemic is appalling. A few children completed suicides within the last year. Just this week a thirteen-year-old hung herself and was discovered by her younger brother.
While the video made its rounds on social media many people were outraged and called for it to be removed and for the Child Care Protection Agency to investigate. There were also those who supported it. But again, in a society where mental illness is a thread that runs deep based on the evidence of the disturbed, I am never surprised any more by the responses of some of the people.
As I would have written before we live in a society that thrives on violence. And when that violence is against children it is often mislabeled as discipline.
The young woman in that video had no one there to defend her; no one to tell the mother maybe she should try another form of discipline; no one to defend her against the man who threw her to the ground; and no one to tell the moron behind the camera that maybe filming child abuse and posting it to social media is not a good idea. But it exposed them. And, perhaps, it was the way for the young woman to be helped because I certainly do not believe it is first time, she would have been abused in such a manner. I do hope that some justice is served, but can you imagine how alone she felt?
In discussing the issue with a friend, she raised the fact that many young women who become promiscuous are often victims of sexual abuse. We do not know the whole story of the young woman in the video, but children are a product of the environment in which they are raised. The mother claimed she was disrespectful. Were any of the adults in the video worthy of respect?
Another story this week was that of a twelve-year-old girl who it is alleged was taken to a hotel earlier this year and raped by the driver who was responsible for taking her to school. When I read the story many questions came to mind; for example, why would the hotel give access to a man with a child? When I looked at his picture, I thought also, could he not find an adult woman? He appeared to have a handsome face, but pedophilia is a disease that does not discriminate based on whether one is attractive or not.
In many families when young people are sexually abused, the pedophiles are often protected. Sins are ignored to keep up appearances or because the adults are in denial. Sometimes the pedophile is a provider and beloved and, in the end, it is the children who suffer the most.
We have a culture of ignoring crimes against our children; a culture of disregarding their feelings and addressing their trauma. Children suffer at the hands of their parents, other relatives and sometimes even teachers and many excuse it by labeling it corporal punishment. Yes, parents have the right to discipline their children, but the fact that it is ingrained in many of us that violence is the answer for the slightest of offences is disconcerting. There is a thin line between corporal punishment and abuse. Is there even a difference?
The fact that many of us believe that physical pain will somehow correct behaviour is disturbing. The fact that many who were beaten as children say that it had no effect on them and made them better human beings is also disturbing. If nothing else, it would have established that violence is a suitable solution where discipline is concerned and that is not okay.
What is another indication that we are a disturbed people is that some of the same people who would applaud what that mother did to her child, are the same people who would be outraged about the two men in Berbice who recently beat their pregnant wives. Both were so badly beaten that they had to seek medical attention. To beat a woman is unacceptable, but to beat a pregnant woman should be unforgivable; yet one of the women refused to press charges because the man is her provider. My people suffer because of low self-esteem. My people suffer because of the lack of knowledge. My people suffer because they are uneducated. My people suffer because they are not financially independent. My people suffer because of fear, they have been broken by a cruel society and are spiritually unenlightened.
I have said before that to deny that there is correlation between corporal punishment and gender-based violence is delusional. Are we suddenly as adults supposed to find other ways to solve our problems when we have been beaten and verbally assaulted by the people who are supposed to love and protect us? Is there a magic pill that removes the memories of violence ingrained in us? When we become adults, do we just push a button to suddenly renew our thought process and set us on the path where we would make wise non-violent choices and deal with problems like intelligent human beings? Yes, many of us who would have been beaten as children refuse to continue the cycle but when we observe the violent culture in our society, is that the majority?
