“How you could go to a Pandit? We are not Hindus, we are Christians,” she said with a hint of anger.
“Not because somebody tell you that you have to do that. We are Christians. Why don’t you just pray or go to the doctor and find out what is wrong? Sometimes I does really don’t understand you,” she continued before disconnecting the phone call and sucking her teeth.
“Me mother does talk some real s…t sometimes, you know. Sometimes I does don’t able with she,” she turned to the young woman sitting next to her and commented.
The fact that she indicated the person on the phone was her mother immediately got my attention and I was still wrapping my head around this as she continued her rant.
“Imagine she sick and somebody tell she, she must go to a Pandit and the woman going. You could imagine that?” she asked with a dry laugh.
“And the Pandit tell she that is someone who me stepfather get that do she something and she believe. That is how stupid this woman does behave sometimes and when you catch you self she and the man deh back good, good. So sometimes I does just be quiet and don’t say anything,” she further told her friend who remained quiet throughout her rant.
By then I must have made it obvious that I was listening in. She was seated next to me in a public space as we both waited to be attended to.
“I know it sound funny because it is my mother but that is how it is,” she said in my direction and I shook my head tentatively because I was still not clear if the comment was directed at me.
“But for a big woman sometimes my mother does really disappoint me with some of the things that does come out of she mouth. I does really don’t able,” she said, and by this point there was no doubt she was talking to me.
I looked at the beautiful young woman seated next to me who was neatly dressed in work attire and I wondered what part her mother played in her upbringing. I was also sad that she spoke so flippantly of her mother but from what she said earlier I could not totally blame her.
I asked her if she loved her mom and if they had a good relationship.
“I love my mother yes, but sometimes I does can’t take the stupidness she does talk. And you know I is the biggest one and she does talk to me, sometimes I does feel sorry for her and it is like if I am her friend, but the things she say sometimes I don’t know,” she answered.
“Imagine she went to the Pandit and he telling her these things and she believe. Why she must go there in the first place? If you sick go to the doctor and find out. Is not as if she went to doctor after doctor and nobody can’t find what is wrong. She just feeling sick and for all you know is she making herself sick by how she living and thinking,” she continued.
I could not help but think that what the young woman was saying made a lot of sense and I got the impression that she was wise beyond her age; she hardly looked 20.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask her because I was intrigued but because of our environment and the fact that one of us would have been attended to in another few minutes I had to make the best of the time we had.
She told me that she grew up with her mother and two siblings and she was the eldest. Her stepfather was not always a part of their life. She found her own apartment as soon as she got a job because she found it difficult to live with her mother.
“I love my mother but since I small it was like I knew something was wrong with her and I am not sure what I can do to help her. I always listen to her when she calls and I know she had a hard life and she got me when she was very young but there is only so much I can do and no more,” she said.
As she spoke, her friend sat quietly and I got the impression that she was not too keen on our conversation, after all we were strangers. But maybe because of my age the young woman was not hesitant to speak to me and I listened more than I asked questions.
She said at times she pitied her mother because she did not believe she had ever really been happy. But there are other times when she is angry because her mother is not a child and should have enough sense to make better decisions.
“I love her but then I does think about my brother and sister and what bad influence she has on their lives. But I can’t afford to take them, I just have to pray and support them as much as I can. That is all I can do,” she said in an almost defeated manner.
Shortly afterwards, I was called to be attended to even though I wished I could have stayed and chatted some more with the young woman. But I had already spent about an hour waiting my turn. I told her bye and that I hoped things worked out for the best with her mother.
“Well I am living my life. I am not going to allow her to stop me from living,” she said with a sad smile.
I agreed with her, but I could not help but feel somewhat sad for her mother, as I thought of everything that might have gone wrong in her life to get her to where she is today.
I was deep in this train of thought as I walked along a busy Georgetown pavement when I observed two scantily dressed young women. Even before they opened their mouths, I knew they were foreigners. Despite my limited knowledge I concluded they were speaking Spanish, and so I assumed they were Venezuelans.
They both looked very young, but they appeared weary, not just as if they lacked sleep but weary of life. Their gait was slow but somehow the one of them ended up with her foot in the dirty sidewalk gutter. She made a loud sound as she pulled her foot out and while I could not understand what she said I saw tears, but figured she was more embarrassed than hurt.
I hesitated as I wanted to render some assistance but was not sure what to do. Her companion tried to comfort her, and they walked just a few more blocks before turning into the compound of a hotel.
The conversation with the young woman and the experience of my Spanish sister stayed with me for the entire week. I could not help but think that every second of the day a sister is enduring some hardship.
I shared these experiences just to reiterate what I have said before; be kind to a sister when you can and in other cases just listen. Sometimes a listening ear is all that is needed.
