I have attended various events celebrating the achievements of women, empowerment forums and the establishment of movements for the advancement of women. Thursday evening was the official launch of the Women’s Chamber of Commerce & Industry Guyana. The launch of the Chamber, said to be the first of its kind in the Caribbean, was held under the theme ‘Champions of change for women of the future’.
It was an honour to be in the presence of influential and professional women. Voices often sound in our minds to evoke feelings of inadequacy and to create doubt within, but in a room of remarkable Guyanese women, agents of change who are working to change the laws that would encourage improved business practices, who are not afraid to challenge the objectification of women, the voices of hope, motivation and inspiration were louder.
Yet amidst the colours and beauty in the Savannah Suite Pegasus, I could not help wondering. Had I ever attended a forum that solely focused on the achievements and advancement of men? I could not recall. Has patriarchy not only benefitted men, but also worked to their disadvantage? Has it groomed them to suppress their emotions, which has resulted toxic masculinity? Has it trapped and sentenced them in a cycle where they cannot cope with the pressures to be alpha-male and the inability to express their fears and weaknesses manifests in dysfunction.
It was International Men’s Day on November 19th. Again, it passed like a whisper. While there seemed to have been a few events, the difference between November 19th and when International Women’s Day was celebrated in March was quite significant.
This year the theme for International Men’s Day was ‘Making a Difference for Men and Boys’. It is a theme that should be an ongoing concern. Society is not quiet about pointing out the faults of men. It is no surprise that they are the main perpetrators of violence. They commit the most crimes. They are the ones who mostly abandon their children. They are the ones who mostly abuse drugs and alcohol. Male role models are under pressure. There often seems not to be enough of them. It would appear that men are expected to heal from their hurts and trauma without much assistance.
In Guyana, there have been ongoing efforts to improve the lives of women with more focus on education and economic empowerment, and systems to tackle domestic and sexual violence against women such as the sexual offences court which was established in 2017. But the efforts to address men’s vulnerabilities and providing them with psychosocial support seems inadequate. It should not be a surprise when they unleash their rage and frustration on the people in their lives or engage self-harm.
Guyana’s suicide rate is alarming, and the statistics indicate that more men are victims of suicide. In the National Mental Health Action Plan, which was updated in 2015, it was the noted that the proportion was 4:1.
International Men’s Day is an opportunity to not only celebrate the achievements of men, but an opportunity to demand more systems that will holistically begin to address men’s issues. If such efforts are ongoing, society, as a whole, will improve.
Guyana Water Incorporated was one agency that hosted an inaugural symposium in recognition of men on International Men’s Day. One headline about the event included ‘too many sugar daddies’ in our society. Sugar daddies are usually older men who provide younger women with money and material possessions in exchange for sexual favours. It is established that this is a norm in Guyana. Still the headline made me ponder. Would any report on International Women’s Day be as so bold to say that there are too many ‘cougars’ in our society? Cougars are described as older women who prefer younger men. I would say no, even if there were an alarming number of cougars. But it speaks again to how men are perceived in society. Rather than a headline that simply spoke to the upliftment of men, it was a reprimand for them to desist from a practice that some believe has negative impacts on society.
I used to wonder why so many men were alcoholics when I was a child. Some would get drunk when the sun was barely in the sky, slept wherever they staggered and fell by noon, get sober for a short while in the evening before getting drunk again.
I also used to wonder why some men beat the women in their lives and often suffered no consequences. These were norms and remain norms in many parts of this country, but there is nothing normal about it.
Many men are hurt, but do not know how to cope. We Guyanese evolved from a culture of violence that started on the plantations. Ancestral memories of trauma are perhaps still present. That trauma continues in the home and in general society. While we built and grew, there was never a collective effort to heal.
It is good that there have been many efforts to encourage and empower women, but there has to be more efforts on behalf of men. Men may need more interventions than the women because for so long it has been the norm to ignore and neglect their pain. Many have been pretending that it does not exist. Even as our men continue to take their lives, kill and abuse women and children and abuse substances.
There is a Men’s Affairs Bureau that was launched in 2011. One purpose is to provide men with the knowledge to tackle issues like anger management and conflict resolution. Another service is counselling. Sources revealed to me that at some point since its establishment, the budget for the Men’s Affair Bureau was only $250,000 for a year. Now it is just over a million dollars. Are we serious about tackling men’s issues?
Guyana will soon be a beneficiary of one billion dollars under the ‘Spotlight Initiative’ which is a joint European Union and United Nations initiative to eliminate all forms of violence against women and girls worldwide. We need a hashtag like #mentoo in Guyana.
