I was introduced to my family’s Christmas traditions very late. This is because I was born long after most of the traditions—the cooking, cleaning, shopping and sharing—were already established by my family without me. Even after I was born, the last of three girls, I did not get to participate in the traditions with the entire family for long, as my parents separated just before I was set to start secondary school.
Before the split, however, once I was old enough to help out around the house, I played my part, such as in the Christmas Eve cleaning.
In my family, Christmas Eve is a hassle. My grandmother and other family members who live abroad tend to make last minute arrivals in Guyana, so almost every year on December 24th, I remember anticipating their arrival, while my mother would prepare cakes, bread, buns and tidy up the home so that the next day we would just eat and relax. Once my sister and I were old enough to use a mop and a broom correctly, we took over the job of cleaning from my mother. This gave her more time to spend the day mixing cake batters and making Pepperpot.
After my parents separated, one of my sisters and I were left to not only clean but also gather ingredients for my mother to prepare the food that we would devour on Christmas Day. These Christmases were not very different from the ones before they separated though. This was because even though they were no longer together, my parents would collectively greet my sister and me on Christmas Day and we would have breakfast and lunch together.
With both my mother and eldest sister out of the country, our family’s Christmas traditions have changed drastically. We no longer eat together, my father lives alone and I live with my other sister and her husband.
Now, I still spend my Christmas Eve cleaning. Sometimes I even visit my father and help him with his cleaning. However, the cooking and baking are no longer done by my mother, so I no longer get to enjoy the delicacies she’d often make. Since my sister got married, her husband has been doing all the Christmas cooking on Christmas Eve, while my sister bakes her favorite lemon cake. However, this is done a lot later than I would like, due to the fact that they both work on Christmas Eve day.
Because my mother migrated to the United States six years ago, Christmas Eve is very different for her now, although familiar as well. She works at a restaurant and every Christmas Eve she spends the day cooking and preparing meals for families who stay at the hotel where the restaurant is located. She says that it’s very different from the usual ‘stay-at-home-with-your-family-and-clean-and-cook’ because the families at the hotel usually don’t have to do all the hustling that we are accustomed to.
She says that after working on Christmas Eve, the remainder of her day is spent at home with my older sister, with whom she lives. My sister told me that before my mother joined her, she would spend the day working as well because she had no one to go home to and nothing to do while there.
‘Giving thanks’
Exchanging gifts on Christmas morning is a tradition for many. Giving thanks for the birth of Christ is ours. Every Christmas morning, my mother would wake me and my sister. Then she would tell us to say our prayers before we prepared for breakfast. She would also remind us to wish our father a happy birthday. (Yes, my father was born on this very special day, as well.) I would normally wake up excited and ready to eat but then my mother would remind us of the reason for the season. Then my sister and I would spend the day watching reruns of classical Christmas themed movies, especially my sister’s favourite, “Home Alone.” As the meals are prepared, my mother would sit and talk with us at intervals. In some rare cases, my grandmother would also join in on the conversation. Often she would spend her time making flippant remarks at my father about his morose attitude towards growing older. Later, we would sit and feast on the delicious food prepared by my mother.
My mother says that while she prays every morning, on Christmas Day it is twice as special. My sister and I, however, pray alone and then eat breakfast before either spending the day at home or visiting our father.
On the occasions that we spend the day with my father, it’s usually a grand occasion. My father’s relatives would join us to celebrate his birthday and they would prepare so many different foods, I usually have a hard time choosing what I want to eat as a main course, while my sister, glutton as she is, usually ends up with a tummy ache from overeating. After lunch, my father sits with us and we all chat about how our year has been so far. Since most of my father’s family would have been abroad all year, it is a much needed time together.
My mother and sister abroad spend their day either working in the morning and the going home to have lunch together or they both would be home on Christmas day, giving them time to video call us. During these calls, we often spend the time talking about what we are going to cook for the day and about who is contributing the most to the food preparations. That person is usually not me.
My eldest sister told me that people celebrate Christmas in the United States very different from how our family would. She said some families like to rent rooms in hotels where they can be served meals and not have to deal with the fuss of cooking on Christmas Day. “The ones who have a lot on their plates, they just want to relax and unwind but there are some families who go all out. You know, they cook up foods, have a big and glamorous lunch with friends and family,” she explained to me. “Even mommy joins in the fun,” she jokingly said, speaking of one of the new traditions my mother has started. In the past three years, my mother has been using her culinary skills to continue one of her Christmas traditions: sharing.
‘Sharing is caring’
My mother started her giving even before she migrated, though it was on a smaller scale and not as much effort was not put in. During my younger years, I have witnessed my mother buy bags of bread or biscuits to give to homeless persons while we did our Christmas shopping. Despite being an ocean away, she is still giving. Three years ago, she told me, she had cooked a large amount of fried rice, raisin rice and other foods that you would find in a Guyanese household on Christmas Day and she shared it out to her friends and neighbours. She had started doing it on her birthday but decided to do it once again at Christmas because she had received a lot of positive feedback from persons who wanted to eat more of the delicious Guyanese food. So she would start gathering her ingredients days before and preparations would start on Christmas Eve, then on Christmas Day she would take the food she prepared to her friends and even persons she passed on the streets.
Like my mother, my sister and I, also enjoy sharing, especially at this time when love and happiness is craved by families. My sister is constantly thinking of children, especially since she has one of her own. So every year she shares out cakes, sweets and clothing to the less fortunate children around our neighbourhood and even in town where she works. I also contribute, and together, we gather as much as we can throughout the year and give to those who need. In addition, my sister gives food to homeless persons, just as my mother used to. As we celebrate this holiday that surrounds love, happiness, joy and caring, please remember to do your part in spreading these sentiments—maybe they can become part of your own traditions, like they have ours.
