It’s nearing the end of the year and may we ask ourselves whether we have achieved all that we set out to do in 2019. Have we ticked off at least 50% of the list? Let’s say you haven’t, does this make you a failure? Absolutely not. We can make plans, have goals and objectives that we hope to achieve but then things don’t always turn out the way we hoped they would. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The old saying “better to try and fail than fail to try” will always ring true.
Our priorities and the goals we set for ourselves will be unique to each of us and our circumstances. Whatever your goals are, remember to always make sure that they are realistic; the more realistic they are, the more likely you are to follow through with them. Your goals should also be planned in order of priority.
Some common goals people set year after year include:
Living a healthier lifestyle – You may have toxic habits that you need to drop (possibly due to health reasons), like drinking too much, or smoking, or eating junk food but find that you’re right back where you started by year end.
Saving more – You promise yourself that you will save more but once the year is over you look back, unsatisfied, and think you could have done better because although you may have started off well, your plan went off the rails as “things pop up” and money has to be spent.
Spending more time with your loved ones – Life gets busy and we can get so caught up in the chaos that we actually forget about the people that matter the most. Can you look back and say that you’ve spent quality time over this last year with the most important people in your life?
Self-care – You start the year by saying that you will find a good work-life balance but that doesn’t last too long because work gets in the way and before you know it, you are completely burnt out from your 9 to5 job. You take work home and you become cranky, frustrated and stressed out because you haven’t been looking after your own needs.
Does any of this sound familiar? Has this happened to you? Many of us tend to put so much pressure on ourselves that our expectations exceed reality and we are left disappointed when we don’t achieve 100% of what we set out to do. We often start a new year promising to be an improved versions of ourselves but, sadly, we tend to measure our success against unrealistic expectations, especially the achievements of others, and when things don’t work out, we become frustrated. Remember that each of us has unique circumstances with unique goals and comparing ourselves to others is not the way to measure our success.
So, maybe you didn’t lose all the weight you hoped to or didn’t drop all your toxic habits; maybe you set out to save 20% of the your salary each month but only ended up saving 10%; or maybe you promised your relatives that you’d get together every month but only managed to do it twice in the year. Does this make you a bad person? Could you have done better? Should you beat yourself up about that? We need to learn to not be so hard on ourselves and understand and accept that true success is measured by the number of times we tried and failed and actually had the courage to get back up and give it another go. Do not feel defeated. Applaud yourself for how far you’ve come and take that much needed “break” when needed to continue climbing the mountain.
Alicia Roopnaraine is a Psychologist at the Georgetown Public Hospital Corporation’s Psychiatric Department. You can send questions or comments to her at [email protected]
