“Well mine has stopped and I can’t say I have missed it. It is just no more, and I feel so free,” she told me, a bright smile on her face.
I asked her if she did not miss it, as some equate it representing womanhood and there are many who do not embrace the ageing process.
Barely had the words left my lips, when she answered with a loud, “No! I am embracing it. I am telling you it is the best thing that could have happened to me right now.”
She was referring to her menstrual cycle. Every woman has a story about that cycle and in most cases, it is about the challenges they face during that time of the month. Some grimly refer to it as being knocked down by the ‘red truck’; it is never an easy time.
Recently I got to talking about menopause with a group of sisters. I can remember in my young days hearing ‘horror’ stories about the time leading up to menopause, but I never listened keenly because I felt I was ages away from that. Now that I am older, I am trying to embrace the ageing process (smile). I am now focusing more on it and with each year I am thinking more about it.
I asked the sister what symptoms she experienced before she went into menopause.
“Nothing,” she responded. “I felt absolutely nothing. I was amazed. One month it just did not come and then another month passed, and it has been over an entire year without that dreadful period.
“I must say that every month I still feel a little tentative that it may return or that I will start feeling some effects of it because I have heard so much about it. But fingers crossed, this it for me,” she continued.
Another sister in the group timidly said that she was not sure how to feel about menopause.
“I really don’t like the period. I mean, who likes the belly pain, headaches, upset stomach and always having to worry if you mess your clothes up. But when I think about menopause it is like taking away what makes me a woman,” she chimed in quietly.
Three pairs of eyes stared at her and she must have seen the incredulous looks on our faces.
“I know. I know what you guys are thinking,” she said, laughing nervously.
“But it is hard for me to explain how I feel. It is just that even though I don’t like my periods, not having them is telling me that I am getting old. And no, it is not that I am preoccupied with staying young it is just that realization,” she continued.
I kind of got where the sister was coming from and I think the others did too, but I just could not wrap my mind around wanting to hold on to the menstrual cycle.
“Well I can tell you I don’t have no qualms about it. I can’t wait for that time to come because girl this thing ain’t easy,” the third sister said, and we all burst out laughing.
I told them I wanted to share some of what they said in this space as I thought it would make interesting reading for other sisters.
“Once you don’t share too much so people can identity us. I don’t want nobody guessing me age now,” the sister who has gone into menopause said with a laugh.
We then started talking about some of the embarrassing experiences we have had as a result of our periods.
“I remember once I was in church and we were asked to stand. I stood up and almost immediately I felt this hard tug at the end of my dress,” one of the sisters shared. “I was in church, but I spun around with the intention of giving that person a piece of my mind. But when I saw the expression on the person’s face I sat down back as quickly as I could.
“I knew right away what happened and I was mortified. I wanted to shrink and become an ant or something. There I was sitting wondering how I was going to go home, and the woman kindly lent me a huge scarf. I can’t say how I really got out of the building. Of course, I waited until most people left but it was the most embarrassing day of my life.”
I know most of us could talk about a time when our clothes were soiled by a heavy flow and how we felt. We try out best to foolproof the process, but it is as if no matter what the defence, the period just comes with a stronger attack and we end up embarrassed.
“What about me walking down the road and a woman coming up to me and whispering that my clothes were messed up,” another shared.
“I got a taxi and sat on my side until I got home. And I never walked off until the driver drove off,” she continued.
We chatted a bit more about our experiences, some worse than others, before the conversation swung again to menopause.
“I remember an aunt who used to be so moody… she was getting hot flashes and cold sweat because she was going into menopause. I could not understand but I was afraid of that time because she was not getting it easy. But thank God I didn’t go through none of that. I got off scot free,” the sister said laughing.
I am happy for her and I hope I will get off scot free as well. If not, I will have to embrace whatever symptoms come with menopause.
According to www.mayoclinic.org, menopause is a natural biological process. “But the physical symptoms, such as hot flashes, and emotional symptoms of menopause may disrupt your sleep, lower your energy or affect emotional health,” the website said.
But there are many effective treatments available, from lifestyle adjustments to hormone therapy.
In the months or years leading up to menopause (perimenopause), a woman might experience these signs and symptoms:
Irregular periods
Vaginal dryness
Hot flashes
Chills
Night sweats
Sleep problems
Mood changes
Weight gain and slowed metabolism
Thinning hair and dry skin
Loss of breast fullness
I remember interviewing a woman many years ago, who said that women should not be afraid to talk about this process. She had pointed out that older women are sometimes ashamed, and they suffer in silence but talking about it not only makes you feel normal, but you can also be given easy remedies to ease some of the symptoms.
Talk, share and make the process easier for your sisters.
