Dear Editor,
I am told by informed sources that APNU employed the Crosby Textor political consultancy until they ran out of money to pay them. Sir Lynton Crosby, the principal, has helped three British Conservative Prime Ministers to win elections. Several in Australia too.
His central thesis: ‘the Dead Cat strategy’. If you are in election trouble say ‘There’s a dead cat on that table’ and distract the media hordes. Boris Johnson uses it to great effect.
It seems their ‘dead cat’ legacy lives on in APNU…
Some deceased felines…
a. ‘We won the election’. Brought back to life by the International Observers including two recent Caribbean Premiers and at least two current ones.
b. ‘The recount is unconstitutional’. Brought back to life by the Guyana Court of Appeal.
c.’Covid means we have to limit the number of counting stations’. Coming up against reality. (In the UK one constituency in 2019 counted 40,000 votes in 43 minutes…)
d. ‘Let’s look inside the ballot boxes. Dem SOPs were not true’. Er so what were 2000 plus agents at polling stations doing signing them?
e. ‘The dead and the migrated voted’. ‘You cannot bring the former dead cat back to life to testify’. The latter have fled the scene.
f. ‘We ain’t thief. Dem thief’. A vintage deceased moggy.
g. ‘Masked Ministers of the Coalition allege plenty with little or no evidence’. Including the AG returning to Dead Cat b. Once again. Moggie is dead and buried Basil.
C’mon APNU please stop wiping out the feline population of Guyana. Look for some live animals and to the future.
Yours faithfully,
John ‘Bill Cotton/Reform’
Mair
