People reach out to friends, family, and past lovers all the time. In a global pandemic, however, the odds of them doing so are way higher, probably because of the isolation or because the reality is that everyone is potentially facing their own mortality.
Mending bridges or patching them up in some way to clear our consciences is more likely, as our egos have temporarily disappeared now as we have more time to analyse the deterioration of these relationships and acknowledge more truthfully how they became to be.
I reached out to one of my oldest friends from high school after her dad died recently. We didn’t have any beef so to speak but life took us in different directions. I had not heard her voice in well over ten years, though I have been updated about her life via her social media photoprint. I sent emoji-filled messages whenever there was a significant life change or celebration. If I am to be honest though I now believe they were emotionally insignificant when compared to our phone call.
Our phone call teleported me back to my high school days, past family events and every relationship I have been in. She reminded me of how we watched “Mean Girls” almost every Sunday with my two sisters, midday lunch break from school eating Hassar curry at my parents’ home and my older brother taking us all out for an afternoon drive to the gas station. She was surprised when I told her how my family relationships had become complex and difficult to manage, but nevertheless understood because so much had changed for her too.
The phone call left me with a mixture of happiness and sadness to soak up. Though our conversation was special and meaningful sometimes a phone call addressing every single life event is just not sufficient.
Like our high school shenanigans, these life events were experienced in a certain time period where how we dealt with them was solely based on our cognitive abilities at the time which often were dependent on personal growth, evolving beliefs and societal pressures.
Sometimes the phone call that you have to make is one to yourself reminding yourself that:
Your youth is for you
Your youth is for mistakes and a good time, with the latter being the priority. The argument of being immature is invalid. No one is a teenager with the cognitive abilities of a well-lived person and even that is up for the debate at times. Forgive yourself for being too hard on yourself. This is essentially what being young is all about and not making yourself into some ideal specimen with the hopes that it will secure you a marriage ticket. As the young people would say, ‘live yah bess life’. Let yourself experience and process your emotions and most importantly honour yourself.
Love from afar
Sometimes people aren’t where you are in life, often resulting in you not seeing eye to eye and rightly so. We have different histories and struggles and sometimes the universe is not aligning the stars so those relationships can flourish, whether they are family, friendships, or love. But just know that life is just the way it has to be. Accept the happiness they brought at the time and learn from lessons they taught you. We are capable of experiencing happiness from different sources, allow yourself that.
Our experiences are our own to hold onto and be a ladder to help us unlock new levels. Appreciate them, acknowledge them how you choose and just remember the ladder is a continuous one. It is a marathon, not a sprint.
