With every passing day, I try to reflect on my blessings and privileges. It has become a coping strategy to feel content amidst chaos. I am grateful to be quarantined with someone I truly love and get along with.
In these times you reflect on how important life choices are. You realise the need to fully process life-altering decisions carefully because if we have learnt anything from 2020 it is that life can present you with the most abrupt changes and challenges. Things will not always be sweet, and we must learn to deal with uncertainty.
Many marriage therapists have said that this period will see a rise in divorce rates with the added stressful financial pressures, living situations, childcare, and household management brought on due to pandemic. While I agree, I think the bigger problem rests in the reality that we have grown so accustomed to perfection and there is such a negative stereotype attached reasoning and cutting egos down to size.
Though I have a relatively young childless marriage (almost 5 years) I have found that the following strategies work for me:
● Talking about everything reduces stress. Sometimes the person complaining isn’t necessarily looking lengthy responses but just a simple ‘I hear you’. My therapist was surprised that my OCD hasn’t flared up since the pandemic, but this is due to the fact I have not felt clustered with my thoughts in isolation. Try your best to listen, show empathy and ensure the dialogue goes both ways.
● Most men don’t engage in full blown household labour and that is one thing this pandemic has highlighted. Finally, some men have begun to see how much work goes into running a household. I personally love my praises and with many women doing thankless jobs with increased parenting and household duties, a little encouragement would really help. In addition, it matters not if she or he (if the roles are reversed) is unemployed, housework has always been real work and deserves thanks and recompense for in my opinion.
● Living in an apartment in the city has been good for us. We are always in proximity to social activities, so finding the excuse to take a break from each other has always found a polite way to be framed. I always found it unnatural to be around a person 24/7 despite loving them. If anything, wanting to see them develop independently within their own social groups is healthy and I find builds healthy relationships. My husband strongly believes in knowledge-sharing in social settings. He says the messages always sticks better. Try not to take someone wanting time away from you as hurtful, we are simply not meant to be like this, and it is no way to grow as an individual.0
