“I was on my back step teaching my son when he turn to me and say, ‘Mommy look some children hiding in the bush.’ I turn and I see these little children in the bush by the fence and I turn and ask them what they doing there.
“Is then I hear this woman voice saying, ‘Is me. Ah hiding from me husband.’ So I went to the fence and I see she stoop down in the bush. I had to look good to see she. The children went a little in front of her,” she told me.
“I didn’t have to ask she anything. I knew she get abuse because I could see it. All she mouth was bleeding, you know, like it burst. And when I look at the children you could see them and all get beat because I seeing like brand on their skin and one a them had like a lil burst in he head. I felt so shaken,” she continued.
“I recognise she from the house not far from me and I ask she wah happen and she tell me how she husband beat she and how he gone away with the baby and she hiding from he. She tell me how he beat up them children and how he does always do it because them is not he own, only the baby is he own. So he beat she and them children up and went away with the baby.”
This sister was speaking about her neighbour who was being abused by her partner. She added that even though the man’s family lived a stone’s throw away they never intervened.
“So I ask she what she want to do, and she tell me how she want go to the police station but how she don’t have money. Now I feel sorry for she and I know I should help but you know I was thinking about the people around and how you know I don’t want any trouble with the man and he family,” she said candidly.
The sister called a relative who advised her that once she can afford it to ensure that the woman at least got to the police station.
“I ask she about she family, but she tell me since she pick up with the man her mother disown her so she can’t call and ask for no help. She tell me how the man take a chain and hit one of the children in he head and when I look I see the burst. All of them was barefoot and them children didn’t have any pants, like it was just leave for me to cry,” the sister told me sadly.
“And you could see how frighten she frighten because she not coming out the bush even when I talking to she; she just stoop down in the bush. I call a taxi and tell she come and wait for it, but she tell me no she would wait till the taxi come. When the taxi do come I had to help fetch them children over the drain and if you see how quick she run and go in the taxi. I tell the driver where to drop she off and I pay he and if you see how me neighbours them watching me.”
After the taxi left, the sister contacted me and asked if I could assist further. Immediately, I contacted Director of the Child Care and Protection Agency Ann Greene and she promised that her officers would make contact with the police station and ask that they keep the woman and children until they got there.
“I want to know what happen to her and the children because, you know, I worried. I see the man come back to the house without the baby and he take a bicycle and gone riding around the village like if, you know, he must be looking for her,” the sister later told me.
Greene later informed me that the woman and the children, inclusive of the baby were taken by the agency while the man was in police custody. She explained that they first have to be quarantined before the woman is sent to a shelter for battered women. She explained that the woman would need psychosocial counselling. The agency will continue to monitor the family and provide needed assistance since the well-being of the children is of paramount importance. She also explained that should the woman and the children remain in the agency’s care their location might become known and the abusive partner may find them.
“We will do all we can to help her and the children, that’s what we are here for,” Greene said.
The sister later said, “I would always see her standing at the door looking at me if I am outside. Sometimes when I passing on the road she would look at me, like if she want to ask me something that is how I use to feel. But she never say anything, and I never say anything.
“But you know now, looking at it, maybe she use to want to tell me and I feel bad because maybe if I use to just say good afternoon she might have say something. I know she was not happy, I could just see it…
“She had these three very small children and then she had a baby and I would feel sorry for she because I have one and I would find it hard. Not just to mine them but you know I didn’t know how she could have deal with just taking care of them and herself.
“Nobody has said anything to me, and the house is close up tight. I am happy now that at least I help her with the taxi. It was God because I don’t know where she would have been today or what would have happen to the children,” she said.
I told the sister that she did the right thing but could not help but wonder at the many neighbours who refuse to assist abused women because they don’t want to get involved. How often have we heard that we should not get involved in ‘man and woman story’.
A Help and Shelter report had found that in spite of the established legal framework, in Guyana, “domestic violence continues to be seen as personal, private or a family matter. Its purpose and consequences are often hidden, and domestic violence is frequently portrayed as justified punishment or discipline.
“While an issue of concern to Guyanese women regardless of race, socioeconomic status or political affiliation, domestic violence has not received the kind of high-level political attention that is accorded drug and gang-related violence,” it added.
Last year the Guyana Women’s Health and Life Experiences Survey (WHLES), which was conducted using the Caricom model, a measurement adapted from the original World Health Organization found that one in every two women in Guyana has or will experience Intimate Partner Violence in their lifetime. The survey was said to be the first comprehensive one done on gender-based violence in Guyana and it revealed that more than half (55%) of all women experienced at least one form of violence. More than one in ten would have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a male partner in the past 12 months.
We should all not just be or brother’s and sister’s keepers but also our neighbour’s keeper. It is time we stop looking at domestic violence as ‘man and woman story’ and offer assistance when we can, even if it is just contact the relevant authorities. I am not advising that you put yourself at danger but help where you can. And if children are involved we should stop at nothing to ensure that they receive the necessary assistance.
I commend this sister for reaching out a helping hand. We can only now hope and pray that the woman and her children receive further assistance that would ultimately see their lives improved. Her abusive partner should face the full brunt of the law.
