Every joyous and celebratory moment this year has felt like a forced attempt at retaining some amount of normalcy. I honestly feel bad for anyone who had been mentally preparing for a big moment in 2020. I can’t begin to imagine the feeling of having to lock up one’s joy amidst despair. Especially when it’s joy that you may have been waiting for a long time to experience.
Like most people, I miss lot of things, even the things I don’t usually participate in, like Halloween and wedding festivities. I miss seeing all of the quirky and cute children’s costumes and the ones laced with pictorial satire too. I miss seeing the extravagance that weddings tend to attract from everyone in attendance. The pure joy from families coming together to bless unions are now hidden behind masks. This is a sad reminder that our normal has been adjusted.
Growing up, I remember December being a prime wedding month. It was almost guaranteed every year that there would be a Boxing Day wedding invitation for our family. I remember the two main accessories choices being either silver or gold clutch to go with your silver or gold shoes. There was hardly ever a migration from this trend; it was always understood.
I miss the wedding reception gossip, pinning of money on the bride and groom and people either trying to count the money the new couple received or figure out who were the foreign guests. I miss the randomness of being able to crash a wedding and it being relatively okay in the countryside.
It was a special kind of excitement and fun that can’t really be had in these circumstances. For those who have not postponed weddings and who are attending either as a guest or as part of the ‘bride tribe’, here are some things to consider:
Personalize to your desire
Weddings in nature are capitalist. There is a lot of hype about what you should or shouldn’t have for your special day. It is easy to cave even if you in your heart don’t want to. Count this as a chance to say no. Everyone gets that we are in a pandemic. If there was ever a chance to create your own style of wedding without being too harshly judged now is actually the time.
A chosen list
Invites to such special moments are a big deal for many. I didn’t realise this until I eloped. I find that in our culture, that there are always three lists: the one you and your spouse want and the ones each family wants. In reality, there should only be one list and that is the one approved by the bride and groom. Be ruthless with your list. Revised lists are something I hope trends after this pandemic. Heaven knows we spend way too much time expecting a lot from people who really don’t know how to be wedding guests.
Passes for Bridezilla
If you are a member of the wedding party, learn to let the bride have her Bridezilla moment this time around. I always found the bridal party to be more of an act of pageantry as opposed to one fulfilling some sort special mandate. Perhaps as part of the wedding party this time around, those involved could actively seek way to support the bride, both on the day and during the planning phase, even if it is just a small wedding. I would imagine, like everything else, weddings are even more stressful now given the health risk involved.
Happy wedding season and don’t forget to wear your masks!
