Dear Editor,
Within the last month, there has been a spate of domestic violence against women and children in Guyana. Recently, for instance, a male set his home on fire killing his wife and two children. This is not an isolated incident as several others were reported in the media. This missive seeks to address some of the root causes of male violence against their female partners and how to address them.
Usually, jealousy is the primary emotion driving violence against a partner. Males sometimes are very suspicious that their partners are having an affair and often in a vengeful state of rage would attack their partners, often without evidence.
Most males in Guyana socialize or interact with their partners from a position of power and control, and they think that the violence is justified. They seek to drive fear in females. We need to teach these males how to make a shift from power and controlling behaviours to behaviours based on equality, rationality, and respect for their female partners.
It is noteworthy that many males in Guyana adopt partner violence as a norm in their interactions with their female partner. They may have been brought up in an abusive family where this was normalized. Men should not view or define their masculinity in terms of their capacity to be violent, physically or emotionally. Many men also justify their violence against female partners based on religious teachings, but no religion sanctions violence against women.
From the perspective of males, if we are abusive towards a female partner, it is difficult for her to love us, and this is one of our deepest emotional needs as males. So violence against females is really violence against males in a sense. Women who are victims often have no recourse to the law because their stories are seldom taken seriously by the police. They may be left emotionally and physically hurt, lacking in self-confidence and little trust for males.
The roots of male violence come from a belief of entitlement and control. Often males do not think about the harmful effects of their violence on their partners and children, who may live in the same home. We need also to teach our males anger management skills and how to be less reactive, even in the face of provocation. Violence against women cannot be justified in any way.
We need to create a more peaceful society where there is justice for everyone, and where communication is nonviolent. Women should be treated equally in the home and in society. The males who abuse their partners would certainly not like their mother or sisters or daughters to be abused that way. We must teach abusers coping skills such as effective communication, problem-solving strategies, anger management, and self-control rather than using brutal force and violence.
Yours faithfully,
Dr Latchman Narain
Dr Vishnu Bisram