Reflections by ALFEN
Something, or numerous glues of values of resilience, tolerance, understandings – and love, kept Harry and Hetty together as legally happily wedded man – and – wife for fifty-four years.
Hetty graduated from Teachers College at 24 in 1966. Sheer persistence, then financial assistance grudgingly accepted when her surviving parent fell ill, plus a little charm from Harry who even joined her church, resulted in the two getting married at the General Register Office (GRO) afterwards. When Harry turned a ripe 21. This means that today Harry is 75 and his loving wife Hetty his senior at 78.
Being loving realists on this Christmas Day 2020, the two after their pepperpot and baked chicken and fish lunch, know that their reminiscences couldn’t always capture non-stop blissful wedded lives. Ups and downs there were aplenty. Especially the downs when Harry decided upon a seaman’s life when he was around 40.
Life in Guyana by the early – to-mid-eighties was challenging – political dissension non-stop, elements of authoritarianism governmental highhandedness led to severe economic situations for the society’s law-abiding, even a–political citizens. Reluctantly, Hetty gave in to Harry’s new- found calling to “escape” to a sea-farer’s allegedly lucrative career. To sea he went. And stayed for months at a time. As she and her elder sister maintained her “matrimonial” home.
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A birth, Christmas and a
marriage
Hetty was an otherwise blessed teacher, religious adherent and admired citizen of her suburban community. It was nearing her fortieth, after Harry had spent weeks “on land” at home that she finally became pregnant. Gynaecological challenges made her stay home for an extended period. Great joy attended the difficult birth of the son. Dejesu. Harry even arranged with his principals to fly to Georgetown for Dejesu’s christening, then it was back to the separation of the now very adult couple as the little boy experienced his dad’s attention intermittently.
Just when Hetty was deciding to confront Harry about “more time for the marriage and home”, two things happened in her favour. If one could call the circumstances such. An accident on his ship caused Harry to have to take very extended periods of leave. Generously, his principals awarded him significant rewards for years of expert labour and loyalty and dedication.
So Harry invested in a brand new three-bedroom flat of their very own. The pleased and matured Hetty was glad to leave rented quarters to fuss over their very own domicile. Satisfaction was compounded when she also agreed, through her tears, to allow Harry to fund Dejesu’s desire to study medicine abroad.
This Christmas 2020 recalled many others when Harry would schedule his leave to enjoy his Christmases in Guyana.
But Harry had long discontinued church-going. Not Hetty however. That’s why, partly, they would engage in debate about what Christmas was all about. Of course, Harry’s position was that the Mass or Festival was just one big mythical misrepresentation. He loved to point out however that “De carpenta Joseph was a big man, big-big man. But in deze times big fellas married younger girls. Mary the virgin was juss fifteen-sixteen”. Hetty would hold her peace on that particular point.
It was she who would prefer the reminiscences of Guyanese Christmases past – like “brucking-up-de-house” to make way for new blinds/drapes/curtains, after the walls were washed and repainted; the linoleum removed and the ole-time furniture varnished and /or polished. Of course, days before December 25 it would be the household collective effort to acquire meats – including cow-heel, oxtail and ham and lots of eggs. Pepper-pot had to be done on or before Christmas Eve and pork prepared for the Christmas morning Portuguese garlic pork. Hetty was particularly – expert at the latter as well as the traditional black fruit cake – a must for the twelve- day “season”.
Funny how in those days when Harry’s presence enhanced the home Christmas even the marriage itself was sustained. Today’s broken homes with “single-parents” speak volumes about Guyana’s social breakdowns.
2020’s COVID Christmas
So it is in their blissful respective retirements Harry and Hatty enjoyed shared nostalgia of their old December days. From carol singers long gone to genuine masquerade bands and steel-band tramps to old-time cowboy guns as toys and dollies for the girls.
They marvel at today’s technological “toys”- computers, cell phones, Facebook, internet what a changed world, the two old-folks reflected. Then amidst all this modernity entered the deadly Corona Virus Disease Pandemic – COVID-19.
Both old Harry and Hetty felt anxious and sad for young Guyanese still determined to manifest the spirit and hope of the Baby Jesus’ birth. Guyanese, sensibly or not, are out on the streets of towns and villages. Commercial Christmas still fuels the religious celebration of merriment and joy.
Older folks are just a little more cautious about this COVID-19 Christmas 2020.
They have “pre-existing, underlying conditions.” Like both Harry and Hetty whose Christmas spirit remains defiantly intact.
You see Hetty lost one leg recently to Type 2 diabetes. And Harry is now blind!
(And, if it is at all important or relevant, Hetty is a mixed Guyanese – Afro and Portuguese. Harry is an Indo-Guyanese. A peaceful and safe Christmas to all.)
